Page 85 of Class Clown

“Wrong.” Meredith left the cover of the sheet curtain to glance around the small living space. “That’s exactly what you said. It’s not about the words, it’s about their meaning.”

“None of the words I said meant that,” I argued.

Meredith looked back at me. “Wrong again. Stop denying it.” She smiled at Aryn. “We arrived right on time. She needs us.”

“For what?” I asked, shocked down to my socks at how this was unfolding out of control.

Meredith responded with a knowing look. “Who else would you trust with this important situation?”

I shook my head and sat on one of the kitchen chairs. “This is getting blown out of proportion.”

“Okay, so you’re being open and honest with him about your feelings and he’s doing the same?” Aryn asked.

“Yes, actually, and all the honesty is a little much. What happened to excessive flirting, stealing kisses, and then moping in the bathtub when it all came crashing down?” I moaned.

Aryn sidled up next to Meredith and they whispered together in a way I did not appreciate. I was never left out of these side conversations. I was the duchess of side conversations. The world had heaved off its head.

They looked back, both of them nodding.

“Alright,” Aryn said, “we’re going to scale back here. We jumped the gun a little. You obviously know what’s best for you and we’re here to have fun and take a break from life. Let’s ease up and let things flow.”

I did not believe them for a second, but I appreciated them pretending.

“Awesome. Thanks guys,” I replied.

“So, why don’t you give us the tour?” Aryn said brightly. “Let’s start at the health center. I want to see where you work.”

“Is your porcupine stalker still around?” Meredith asked. “I wanted to shake the hand of the creature that saw your worth.”

I told them all about Quinn as we made our way to the health canter cabin, and the sound of their laughter calmed my nerves. It was going to be great to have them here.

You never really know that special combination of fear and humiliation until you clog the only toilet in the cabin. The cook staff had attempted a new recipe, and last night had been Taco Tuesday. But my intestinal tract had been no match for the salsa, and things had been dire this morning.

I’d promised myself so few things about this summer, but one of them had been to never need that grumpy maintenance guy. Today, I’d let myself down.

I stood staring down at the toilet bowl, praying to the gods of justice and romance that it would flush, and growing more and more horrified when it remained the same. I’d plunged, I’d pulled off the tank lid and wiggledthings, I’d kicked the bowl, I’d even jumped up and down shaking my fists, but it was hopeless.

A tap on the door had me sucking in a breath and tensing all over.

“Rubes?” Cole called. “Other people need a turn. You aren’t the only one fighting off the tacos.”

“The bathroom is occupied,” I called back in what I hoped was a cheerful voice.

“Yeah, so, um, whatever you’re doing in there, it’s going to have to come second to whatever is brewing in my stomach.” Poor Cole, having this moment in front of my friends who were barely more than strangers.

“Right, so, you may want to trot on up to Bearadise Lodge and see if there’s a free bathroom up there.”

Silence, and then quiet enough not to alert the whole cabin, “Rubes, did you clog it?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Oh, when you grabbed at your bum, shrieked, and ran for the bathroom, I had a hunch. The sounds your stomach had been making before that tipped me off.”

I gasped loudly. “Lies.” I did not grab my bum and run for the bathroom . . . I think.

“Is the bathroom usable or not Rubes, I don’t have time to play around. I’m grabbing my own bum here.”

“You’ll definitely want to look elsewhere for relief.”

---