Page 25 of The Risks of Reuniting

I chuckle too loudly for the small space, and it echoes my awkwardness back at me. "Going for small talk, eh?"

His chuckle sounds forced. "Seems prudent, since anything else might be a minefield."

I sigh, amused. "I've been doing dental work this week. You?"

"Gardening."

"You're a terrible gardener," I laugh, and this time it's genuine. "Big mistake on Carlos' part."

He nudges my side with his elbow. "Hey, I can dig holes in dirt."

"Do they realize that the dirt will have to be blessed with holy water before it will actually grow anything?"

He laughs. "Rude."

"I state facts, that's what I do."

His voice is warm when he responds. "I know."

I'm relieved when we see the laundry building. It's small and houses one washer and one dryer, plus a linen closet. I don't have high hopes that the linen closet stores extras, but I'm still putting good vibes out into the universe. Holt pushes open the door and stands to the side to let me enter first. It's dark, and I tug at the cord hanging from the ceiling attached to a single bulb. It's like a four-watt bulb because it barely chases the shadows away, but it's something. I drop the blanket I'm carrying on the dryer and open the linen closet.

"Color me shocked, there are sheets and towels in here." I smile, tugging them out. "The universe loves me. It's about time she threw me a bone."

Holt pops open the washer and dumps the soiled sheets inside, adding detergent and glancing my way. "Is there a clean blanket?"

I shake my head. "No dice."

"You can use mine. I'll go grab it."

"Absolutely not. It gets cold at night. I'll figure out something else."

He pushes start on the washer and glances at me. "Like what?" he asks.

"Like maybe I sleep under towels, or wear a jacket to bed. I'm an adult, I can figure this out," I respond.

"You'll freeze. You get cold easily." He raises a confident eyebrow.

I feel strange about that confidence, like he's not allowed to have it in regards to me, and I bristle. "You don't know that."

He leans in. "I know every single thing about you."

My mind races over words that come unbidden, and remain unspoken. If he knew every single thing about me, then why did he assume he could apply to pharmacy school in North Carolina and that I'd drop all my well-plotted plans to go with him? If he knew me so well, how did he not understand that I'd come to depend on him and trust him completely, and that I'd be devastated by him tossing it all away to chase his own dream? If he was so familiar with me and my thoughts, how could he have blindsided me so completely?

My spine stiffens as my jaw drops. Walls that had cracked a little are replaced, and reinforced.

"Wrong. You used to know a version of me, but you obviously didn't know anything about what I actually wanted or needed." The words are ripped from me as I shove past him to leave the laundry, forgetting the towel for Rachelle and the fresh sheets for me, stomping my way across the dirt toward our room.

Holt is on my heels. "What is that supposed to mean?"

I stop and spin to face him. "Are you serious?"

He folds his arms and nods. "Completely. What did you want and need that I didn't understand?"

He can't actually . . . I sigh and shake my head sadly. "Okay, I guess this was bound to happen." I take a breath and look directly into his eyes. "You, Holt. I wanted and needed you. And you walked away."

His expression is one of shocked hurt. "You're kidding, right? That's not how things happened."

I throw up my hands. "Do you have something new to add? Something I missed last summer? Because I heard it all then. Remember how we argued about it for weeks, and it didn't solve a thing." My hands drop and my shoulders sag. I'm sad, and tired, and still freaked out about that rat. "There's no point in this. We aren't a couple anymore and should drop it."

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