Page 73 of The Risks of Reuniting

I fold my arms. "Now this is what I'd like to hear. Because we're going to need solutions if we hope to move forward."

She flattens her lips. "Ifis the word that you need to focus on.Ifshe forgives you.Ifshe trusts you again.Ifshe's willing."

"If you don't maim me."

"If."

I suddenly hate that word. My whole world hangs on that word. "What would you suggest, Al…lison?"

"I don't know, buddy. But breaking her heart a second time is not an option. So unless you're prepared to crawl back from North Carolina with apologies on your dehydrated lips, then you have no business even being here."

"Why are my lips dehydrated?"

"From crawling . . . across . . .the country." She stabs me with her eyes and I nod. "Let me say it once more for the four-year-olds in the room." She leans forward, pointing both kitchen utensils at me. "Unless you understand that to have her you might have to give up Chapel Hill, you're living in a pretend life and the same issues will creep up again when your summer internship is over."

"You don't think she'd be willing to come with me?" I ask. I gesture to the ceiling where she's sleeping above us. "She also said she'd never leave the States, and look where I found her again. In Peru." I pause. "And shetold her roommate at the humanitarian center that maybe she'd held on too tight to Salt Lake and could have been more flexible."

Her lips purse and then she bites them before scowling. "She said that?"

"That's what Rachelle told me."

"I have no idea if Rachelle tells the truth, but I'll admit that I can't pretend to know for sure what Chlo will do. The breakup changed her. What I am saying is that you have to be triple serious about making this work, because if there's any doubt that you're willing to choose her over North Carolina, then walk away now. She'll wake up and I'll tell her you're still a no-good pansy with an addiction to hair products, and the beginnings of a neck beard, and she'll cry a little but she'll be fine." She slaps her kitchen tools on her lap. "I got her through once before. I can do it again."

Neck beard? Yeah, definitely forgot to shave that. Now I know I have to.

"Will you be giving her this same speech?" I ask.

She tilts her head. "What do you mean?"

"The whole,unless you're willing to give up Salt Lake and follow him to North Carolina, this thing is doomedspeech?"

She gasps and then laughs. "No. Absolutely not. This is a one-way street. You broke it, you fix it."

"That doesn't seem fair. Webothbroke it."

She stands and puts her hands on her hips. "Look, Holt, I love you two together. You're, like, cheese and bananas. White American cheese, to be specific, wrapped around a fresh Cavendish banana."

I huff out a laugh. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I saw it last night onAmerica's Test Kitchen. Looked amazing and I'm going to try it."

"So . . . you like us together?"

"Yes, I do. You fit. But what makes you think you fit more now than you did last year? What changed?"

I unfold my arms and put my hands through my hair. "What changed is that now I know how much it sucks to be apart. I don't want to keep going that way."

"Good," she smiles, waving her knife and whisk in the air. "Feel that emotion, tuck into that understanding. And when you two have your big talks, remember what this last year was like and what you'd sacrifice to have her back."

I nod and lean my head back against the couch. "Okay, Allison, I hear you."

"It's Allie. You really are tired. Get some rest."

She marches out of the room and I fall onto my side, not bothering with the blanket, and lie there until my alarm goes off an hour later, having caught zero winks. Allie is right. I've got some decisions to make, and I don't have time to waste in making them.

Chapter 25

Chloe

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