Page 15 of The Yips

“Yeah, he asked where his dad was, and I wasn’t ready to declare that I made a baby with a stranger to a virtual stranger.” I didn’t share with Kylie that I’d felt a touch of anger when Sam had thought Crew’s father had abandoned us.

“He’s a cute baby. The boy could charm anyone.”

“Well, yeah. He’s half me. Of course, he’s cute.”

“I still think you need to get serious about finding Tom. You need help, Kelsey. I hate seeing you work so hard only to barely keep your head above water.”

“It’s okay, Ky. I should be able to return to classes by January. I’ve got a plan.” Completing my nursing degree would provide a more stable income, but I’d likely never be able to pursue my master’s degree as I’d once intended.

“Good, don’t sacrifice your education. How about online classes?”

“It’s the cost. I can’t pay for it right now. Plus, I have mostly clinicals remaining. Those are all in person.”

“How much will the rich guy pay you to help him win?”

“First of all, I’m not helping him win. You and I both know that. Secondly, I don’t feel right taking his money.” Accepting money from Sam made me feel like a charity case. Yes, life was hard, but I could take care of myself and my son. I didn’t need a handout.

“Why? He’s got plenty to spare?”

“That’s not who I am, but I am fully aware that my entire savings account is due to tips from Sam.”

“Kelsey, he’s asking you to travel to another state with your baby; that alone is a lot of effort. Crew wasgood at the game, but what will you do when you are alone in the stadium and need to use the bathroom? I won’t be there to hold him next time.”

“Ugh, I’ll call Sam in the morning. This is not going to be that easy.” I was overwhelmed at the thought of traveling alone with Crew. I’d only ever traveled with family or a group of friends. I’d seen families at the airport and on planes, but the babies had always been crying, and their parents had always looked exhausted and overwhelmed.

“You need to figure out how much you’d be giving up at work, not just during a slow shift but a busy one. And think about what expenses you will incur traveling. I don’t think it would be unreasonable to ask for $2,000 plus travel.”

“That’s ridiculous, Ky. That’s way too much.”

The conversation trailed off, and we said goodbye; I hung up and headed to bed. Crew slept peacefully in his bassinet. We only had another month or so before he outgrew it. I cringed, thinking about where I would fit a larger crib. This room was tight as it was; I wouldn’t have room to walk once I upgraded his bed. Once he was a toddler, we’d need a new place. I couldn’t share a room with him forever. In those moments, late at night, the enormity of the pressure I felt hit me. There were no distractions, just me and my thoughts, and no matter how I tried to find solutions to these scenarios and potential pitfalls, I came up blank. I couldn’t imagine a world where things would get easier for me..

CHAPTER 14

Sam

After my long morning run, I texted Kelsey to see if she could meet me for coffee to discuss her potential travel plans on Tuesday.

Me: I asked you for something without providing all the details. Would you be willing to meet for coffee this morning?

Kelsey: Okay. I actually have a lot of questions. I have Crew. Can I bring him?

Me: Of course. You don’t need to ask me to bring him. He’s welcome wherever you are.

Kelsey: Can you meet me at Julia’s Beanery? It’s within walking distance for me, and it is much easier to bring him in the stroller.

Me: Sure, what time?

Kelsey: 10?

Me: Perfect.

I showered, dressed, and decided to walk instead of driving. I loved the city, but parking was only guaranteed if you had access to a lot. I was hopeful that Kelsey was considering my proposal and took her agreement to meet as a good sign. If the answer was no, she wouldn’t have agreed to coffee, right?

I arrived at the café a little earlier than her and requested a table with a highchair and room for a stroller. Not knowing much about babies, I doubted he could sit in a high chair, but I’d seen others use high chairs to set the car seat while they ate.

I kept a close eye on the door while I tried to distract myself with my phone. I was in the middle of reading a sports news article when I heard the door chime. Kelsey struggled to hold the door open and maneuver the stroller into the café. I left my phone on the table and strode across the café to help her. She seemed surprised and slightly flustered. In the few short interactions I’d had with her, I’d realized that she had trouble accepting help.

“Oh, thanks. I never feel like I have enough arms. Am I late? Have you been here long?”

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