Page 31 of The Yips

“Maybe he trusts your decisions?”

“Yeah, because I’ve got a great track record. I think he’s just got stars in his eyes.”

“I guess I’ll just have to prove him right. I’m not going to hurt you, Kels.”

“Well, there are more ways to hurt people than physically. I don’t think you can make that promise.”

They announced that boarding would begin in thirtyminutes, and I asked Sam if he could watch Crew as I made one final trip to the restroom. When I returned, he had Crew in his lap, as well as the attention of all the women in the general vicinity. They all swooned over this incredibly tall, athletic man, cooing at my son, and as wholesome as the image was, my thoughts were filthy. My mind immediately brought me back to the car ride from the restaurant and everything we might have done without the interruption. When our eyes met across the airport, he smiled and turned Crew so he could also watch me approach.

I took Crew back from him as he worked to break down the stroller for when we boarded. Of course, Crew was hungry when we needed to get everything together to board the plane. I had a nursing top on and could get him situated without flashing everyone, but luckily, Sam’s size offered a bit more privacy than I was used to.

“I don’t understand how you figured that stroller out on the first shot when I’ve been struggling with it almost daily for almost four months.” Collapsing a stroller one-handed had been the bane of my existence. Worse was when I had an audience. It was always then when I couldn’t seem to get the equipment to cooperate as I imagined every onlooker’s scorn.

“Hey, I’m more than just a dumb jock. I majored in engineering in college. I pride myself in being able to figure out how things work.”

My mind sank right to the gutter. I wondered how quickly he’d figure out how to make me work. Last night in the car, he’d barely touched me, and I came hard enough to see stars.

He tipped my chin up, and our eyes met. “What’s going on in that brain?”

“I can’t say where I might be overheard. But watchingyou handle the stroller and all the baby bags makes me want to know what else you handle so well.”

He smirked, leaned in, and whispered in my ear, “You should see what I look like when I do laundry.”

“You do your own laundry?” I asked incredulously. I hadn’t expected him to handle housework, but yep, I liked that image too.

“Am I inviting you over on laundry day?” He winked, and I clutched my hand to my heart dramatically.

“Sure, I’ll bring ours too. It will be hours of foreplay.” Sam laughed at my quip, and the flight staff called for our boarding group.

Crew had finished nursing just in time for us to board, and Sam settled in next to us as I took the window seat. We both switched our phones to airplane mode and stored them for the duration of the ride. The flight attendant offered us drinks and snacks, and I took water, and Sam ordered a soda water. We had talked about drinking while we were at dinner last night; it wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing while breastfeeding, and I had avoided it so far. I knew that I could always give him pumped milk, but I didn’t want to be under the influence while I was with Crew. Sam also had a complicated relationship with alcohol, mainly related to his father’s disease, and didn’t like drinking during the baseball season.

I had already discussed moving home with my parents, and they were happier than I had expected. They had offered to paint my childhood bedroom and had already set up Kylie’s room as a nursery for Crew. As much as it stung to move back home, Crew would need his own room soon; he couldn’t share a bedroom with his mom forever. Monica had sent the dates of the away games, and I had asked work about changing my schedule. They were usually slow during away games, so maybe they could work with me.And, with the move back to my parent’s house, I hoped to stop driving Uber; working less would give me more time with Crew and a bit more sleep.

Crew had fallen asleep on my chest as soon as the plane had reached altitude. Sam had taken my hand and mindlessly drew circles on my palm with his thumb. We spent the next three hours asking each other every question we could think of asking. When we landed in Boston, I knew his favorite color was red, and he knew that Brussels Sprouts were my favorite vegetable.

I confessed that I might not want to be a nurse anymore, but I might be interested in pursuing a career in non-profit management. Having Crew made me realize that so many women fell through the cracks and needed extra support. That and the schedule for new nurses would still create childcare issues. I likely would not be able to work a daytime schedule right out of nursing school, which meant I would still rely on my parents for daycare.

“Something you said to me the other day made me think. You mentioned something about the barriers that I face just on a normal day. Many single mothers work as bartenders and waitresses, which means they often require childcare at night rather than during the day. They are forced to take daytime positions where they earn far less so that they can go to work. If we can remove that barrier, they can choose a position to bring in the most income for their families.”

I paused and took a breath before continuing, fully aware that I was dumping all of my thoughts out there for Sam to hear and possibly judge. “Not everyone has parents or siblings who can help. Some women are completely alone. I would love to have a place where women could go and find support. Maybe help them findanswers to the problems that seem insurmountable. One of my co-workers was fired from a job because she asked to leave ten minutes early to greet her daughter’s bus. I would love to help women find solutions, but at the same time educate companies and managers on the importance of making reasonable accommodations.”

“When I found out I was pregnant with Crew, I knew I had options with the pregnancy and was promised there were supports with either decision. Once he was born, I left the hospital and had to figure everything out on my own. I have parents who can help. I’m one of the lucky ones.”

“This is the most I’ve ever heard you say, and it makes me realize that this is more than a passing thought. When we return, please reach out to Avery. She was in marketing for the team before she and Carlos married; now, she volunteers for the Minutemen Charitable Giving program. They have a substantial charitable budget and are committed to giving back to the local community. If you can develop a marketing schtick that links it back to baseball, it’s even better.”

“Something like ‘let me take this off your plate.’ It’s corny, but it could work,” I said excitedly.

“Yes, it could, and it will also be great for you to have someone with your perspective to sell it. I would happily pledge to be one of your first donations.”

“Sam, where would I even start?” My initial excitement was immediately extinguished by reality as my brain struggled to solve all logistical barriers at once.

“You start with a plan, and I have one of the best assistants at your disposal. She’s amazing at research and even better at getting face time with some very powerful people. Between her and Avery, I think you’ve gota start.”

My head spun with ideas, and I couldn’t wait to sit down in front of my laptop and start writing down a plan. “Why are you so sure this can work?” I asked him.

“You are one of the hardest-working people I’ve ever met. At twenty-one, you’ve managed on your own what some much older women cannot do with a staff of nannies. I know in my gut you could accomplish anything you set your mind to do. I’ve been around women who’ve had the benefit of every luxury and who would never think to hold the door open for the woman behind them. I like the idea that this would help clear paths for someone who would use that opportunity to do something great.”

Crew stirred when the plane touched down at Logan, and Sam and I deplaned and collected our baggage. A few people recognized him in the airport, and we waited patiently as he signed a hat for a young boy. Sam, the man I was getting to know, was so much more than I’d expected, and I was starting to believe that maybe he was my luck, not the reverse.

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