Page 60 of The Yips

Kelsey bit her lower lip, placed a hand on my chest to steady herself, and squeezed her thighs together. “You should see the surprise I have under this dress.”

I debated saying I had noticed the charge but instead ushered her out the door and said, “I can’t wait.”

Kelsey had been so uncomfortable using the credit card I didn’t plan to do anything to make her question what she’d done. I’d take her surprising me with lingerie any night of the week. It might be the best incentive to get through a night with my dad.

Dad and Gramps were already seated when we arrived. My gaze flickered from the glass of amber-colored liquor in front of my father and then to Gramps. He gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head and a prolonged intake of breath. His reaction only confirmed that the glassy-eyed look from my father meant that he was already drunk.

“Dad, Gramps, this is Kelsey.”

My father reached for her first, pulling her into a hug and squeezing her a little too hard before he planted a sloppy, wet kiss on her cheek. I cringed inwardly, knowing that the display was causing Kelsey discomfort, and I was completely unable to do anything to help her.

Gramps took her hand and placed a lighter, more appropriate kiss on her other cheek, avoiding the wet spot Dad had left behind. When she sat, I waited for my father to bedistracted by the waitress before wiping her cheek with a napkin. I was relieved only for a moment that he’d been distracted until he commented, “Damn, what I’d do to make that woman scream my name.”

Kelsey’s eyes bugged out of her head, and she immediately covered her shock with a blank expression. Had I warned her sufficiently? No. But he was so unpredictable that there was no way to prepare her for all possibilities.

“When will you start taking my calls again, Sammy?”

I sighed heavily, sipped from my glass of water, and answered, “When can you start respecting my boundaries?”

“I knew I should have fought harder for custody; your mother raised you to be soft.” He finished the drink before him, waving down our server to ask for another. “Kids these days are weak, all this mental health bullshit.”

When the server arrived, Kelsey hesitated and ordered a glass of wine. She had been excited to have her first glass of wine, but I could see that experiencing a drunk Sam Sr. could make even the most casual drinker question their alcohol use.

“What’s the deal with the kid?” Dad slurred.

“My son?” Kelsey asked without hesitation.

“I guess so, the one in the pictures. Did you get yourself mixed up with a gold digger?” He asked, his gaze locked on me.

“Dad, insult Kelsey again, and we’re leaving.” I threatened, squeezing Kelsey’s knee under the table as reassurance.

“And insult your son once more, and we’re gone,” Kelsey said, eliciting a nod of approval from Gramps. I had always felt alone dealing with my father, and Kelsey’s support was new; it made me feel like I could face anything.

Thankfully, Dad accepted the warning from both of us, and while he continued to drink, he refrained fromspeaking much. When we were younger, my mother kept as much distance as possible between us and my father, even while they were married. His travel schedule during the season allowed for that space. You would have thought that she would have told us all the horrible things he had done to destroy their marriage. Instead, she painted a picture of a devoted husband, a doting father. She had shielded us from this as long as possible, hoping he could heal whatever had broken in him and that man would return to our family. It wasn’t until the end, when I was old enough to understand that she couldn’t hide it anymore. When she left, it wasn’t because she didn’t love him anymore, but because she knew that he would eventually hurt me and Josie.

I gazed over at Kelsey. She smiled back at me instantly. What if someday I hurt her the way he’d hurt my mother? Could something push me to make some of the same decisions?

CHAPTER 53

Kelsey

Ithought I’d been prepared to meet Sam Sr., but here was a man who looked so much like the man beside her, who couldn’t be more different. Sam’s dad had several inches on him, more lines on his handsome face, and a chip on his shoulder. I had hoped he dared ignore my warning because walking out on him would have been the highlight of this trip.

The tension in Sam’s shoulders released the moment we slid into the hired car.

“Should we go out for one more drink? Or straight back to the hotel?” He asked, attempting to brush off what had just happened—a practiced reaction to bring back as much normalcy as possible. My heart broke a little for the boy he’d been and the trauma he still carried.

“Whatever you need, Sam. You don’t have to pretend everything is okay after that.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, looked out the window, and asked the driver to bring us back to the hotel.

“After that, I want to bury myself in you for a couple of hours.” He remained quiet momentarily, “Is itnormal for me to feel pity, fear, and despise what the man has become all simultaneously? He could have had everything, but instead, he drinks himself into oblivion every night. Why are none of us worth it to him to quit?”

“I don’t know. But there is nothing wrong with you setting boundaries for yourself. He shouldn’t be able to disrupt your peace or our peace.”

“I love you, Kelsey.” He said it as if it were a matter of fact, but his eyes showed intense vulnerability. He let me in and shared the depths of his family secrets, but he wasn’t telling me he loved me enough to respond to me. He’d done nothing but take care of Crew and me since we met, and I’d resisted, trying to stop him. I hadn’t had much experience with men, but it was always transactional when they did anything for me, and there were some expectations for what I would give in return. Maybe that’s why I selected pieces I knew Sam would appreciate when I spent nearly two grand on lingerie.

“You know, the last thing I wanted was a relationship, and when we met, I brought Crew because I thought I was just going to watch a baseball game. Do you think it’s normal to feel this way so quickly?”

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