Page 65 of The Yips

Me: Why didn’t he stop?

Sam: It wasn’t for lack of trying. Addiction is a disease.

Me: How is he?

Sam: Embarrassed. Sore. But willing to listen. And this is the first time I’ve ever felt hopeful.

Me: Is Gramps in there with you?

Sam: Yes. But one of us will be trading off so my mother can come in. It’s probably going to be me.

Me: I’m heading to the cafeteria for water and a snack. Can I get you something?

Sam: Please.

Sam gave me a short order, requesting black coffee and something healthy. And I set out to find the cafeteria. I had been in communication with my father enough to tell him I knew nothing more than when we left the hotel that morning. We’d already devised a plan for him to bring Crew to the hospital to nurse before his next meal.

When I returned, Sam was in the waiting room, looking exhausted and unsteady. He stood to greet me and wrapped me in his arms.

“He’s going to be okay,” I reassured him.

“I hope so. We’ve almost got him convinced to go to rehab. I was hopeful enough to have Monica start looking for openings.”

“That woman is worth her weight in gold. Does she ever stop working?” I asked him.

“No, but she’s compensated more than fairly. She also works for Carlos and Avery; her favorite part of the job is shopping for little kids and babies. And when she picked out your shoes.”

“I love those shoes,” I said. The few hours we’d spent at the hospital already felt like days had passed.

“Me too,” Sam smiled, squeezing my hand.

We sat silently as Sam sipped his coffee and attempted to eat the breakfast I had brought back. He’d looked disappointed with the banana and protein bar, but breakfast pastries were the only other options. Sam didn’t eat egg yolks. I doubted he’d be satisfied with a stale coffee cake. “Sorry, there weren’t better options,” I apologized.

Gramps came out a little later, and Sam rotated back in as a visitor.

“Thanks for coming here with him. Sam is usually such a solitary creature. It’s nice to see him willing to open up,” Gramps said with a wry smile.

It was difficult for me to reconcile that side of Sam with the man I knew. He had always been open with Crew and me. But he didn’t let many people into his life outside his family.

“I’m not sure what I’ve done that’s so special. But I wasn’t looking for anyone, and there he was.”

“He was talking to us about your son in there. He’s gotten attached quickly.”

“So have we,” I answered. Sam’s grandfather needed to understand that we were in the same place in our relationship.

“Sam doesn’t look vulnerable, but what happened between his parents, his father’s alcoholism, all of this affected him deeply. He doesn’t trust easily, and he trusts you completely. I hope you understand what a gift that is.” Gramps met my eyes, and the pain and stress of the morning were evident in his watery eyes. “The men in our family, when we fall, it’s hard and forever. And I’ve had to stand back and watch my son as he destroyed his family and himself. I don’t want that for Sam; he deserves the world.”

“I also don’t trust easily, and I trust him with my heart and my son’s. I know I’m not what any of you would have picked for Sam, but I won’t let anyone hurt him. Not even his father. I hated seeing how much energy it took for Sam to have a simple dinner with his father. If I thought Sam would’ve been okay with it, I would have had sharper words for your son. I hope whatever happened to Sam Sr. is a wake-up call, and he can get it together and have a relationshipwith Sam.”

“I thought Veronica leaving would have done that. We’ve all waited years for him to decide he was worth it. And all that time, we feared the call we got this morning. I hope this is the end of it,” Gramps said, furiously wiping at the tears he failed to contain.

“Sam said he’s hopeful he’ll choose rehab this time.”

“I’m hopeful, too, but only time will tell.”

CHAPTER 58

Sam

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