Page 98 of The Yips

“Oh, yeah. That would have been the best time for us to start dating,” she laughed, trying to make light of the situation. She had come a long way from the woman I met who worried she was a walking red flag and had grown into a woman confident and comfortable in our relationship. Butshe still joked about how rare it was for a relationship like ours to work out.

“I saw your pregnancy pictures, Kelsey. You’re beautiful to me, whether in the middle of a hard run, covered in paint, or nine months pregnant.” In the last month, Kelsey had taken to personally painting every inch of our home; she’d turned another bedroom into Crew’s room, moving him out of the nursery, which I now recognized as preparation for us to use the nursery again for baby number two. But during that time, her hair was frequently spattered with paint, and her hands and nails were stained. I loved seeing her work on making this our home, not just mine.

“Boy or Girl?” Kelsey asked.

“Healthy,” I answered without a second of hesitation.

“Sam the third?”

“No. I don’t want him to be weighed down with expectations.” My father and I had come a long way, but most of our struggles came because he tried to relive his career through me. I would have chosen to play baseball no matter what, but I would have loved it more without that pressure.

“Do you have any regrets? Do you love what you do?” She asked.

“Yeah. I loved this last season, but mostly, I loved having someone there cheering me on. I loved knowing that, win or lose, I had you and Crew to come home to. It was a reminder that baseball wasn’t all I had, and while I’m going to miss it when it’s all over, you guys are so much more than a career. You’re my world; baseball is my paycheck.”

Kelsey zipped her suitcase and moved it to the hallway, placing it next to mine and Crew’s. The three suitcases were symbolic of the last year and a reminder that we had several years of insane travel ahead of us. But there was no other woman I would want as my partner in this crazy life.

Epilogue 2 – Kelsey

Monica saved my sanity once again. Her attention to detail caught more than a few mistakes made by our wedding planner, and her competence was the only reason my anxiety hadn’t spiraled out of control. Sam didn’t even bat an eye at the generous Christmas bonus we provided her or the villa we booked where her entire family could celebrate Christmas together and not miss out because we had chosen to get married on Christmas Eve. It was not my first choice, but our lives would be like this as we all worked together as a co-parent Crew.

While Crew wasn’t fully aware of the importance of the Christmas traditions, this was his first Christmas, and it was essential to recognize that, even while traveling. Santa had arrived ahead of us, and the gifts I had purchased and wrapped would be ready for Sam and me to put under the tree. Tom would be there through the morning after Christmas, the first of many Holidays we planned to spend together.

I watched out the window as the plane approached thelanding in St.Thomas. The Caribbean water’s turquoise blue surrounded us, with the landing strip almost appearing out of nowhere. Sam warned me that the bags would arrive on “island time” and that I shouldn’t expect anyone to move quickly. The ferry to St. John had several more trips between the islands, and we did not risk missing the last connection. We accepted the rum samples and waited patiently for our luggage as my family entertained Crew.

Last year, at this time, I returned from Christmas dinner and went back to my apartment alone. I was very pregnant with Crew and filled with fear about what my future held. If I could go back and talk to my past self, I would tell her to hold on; your world will change. Everything won’t be all right, but your life will be more than you could imagine.

The wedding ceremony was less important; we were already committed to each other, but I couldn’t wait to see Sam’s reaction to me in my dress and to Crew as we both walked down the aisle to greet him. My goal during the wedding planning was to symbolize that this wasn’t just about Sam and me but that Crew and I were taking him to be our family.

A photo of the Caribbean waters inspired me, and I was only now seeing the islands for the first time. Who plans their destination wedding in a place they’d never traveled? Oh. Me. I do. That was how things were with Sam; there were so many firsts. I couldn’t imagine anyone I would trust to experience this life with.

Our villa was perfect. The main house had plenty of room for our little family and parents, and our siblings, Gramps and Tom, shared the guest house. Some of Sam’s coaching staff joined us, too. We had dinner plans for that night, which was a rehearsal dinner.

“Oh, thank God,” I said when Sam left the bathroom clean-shaven. “I thought you might leave the mustache.”

Sam and the rest of the Minutemen had all grownmustaches during their brief playoff run this fall. While I hadn’t been vocal about it, it wasn’t my favorite look.

“I know you hated it, Kels. Just not sure why you let me keep it for as long as you did.”

“I’ve never been one to tell people how they should maintain their appearance.”

“But did you like it?” Sam asked, not backing down.

“You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met,” I answered, exhausting every ounce of diplomacy I could muster.

“No, Kelsey. What did you think? Should I grow one while I’m in season?”

I shuddered. Ugh.

“I saw that, Kelsey.” Sam leaned in, teasing me by rubbing his now smooth upper lip against my jawline.

“Okay! I hated it. It’s creepy, and it made you look like you belonged in bad 1970s porn.”

“Ahhh, porn, huh? I know one part of me that’s ready for the –“

“Don’t finish that sentence!” Josie shouted, walking up behind Sam as she surprised us.

“Josie!” Sam mocked her, “That’s what you get for sneaking up behind me.”

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