Page 60 of Frat Around and Find Out

“Guys,” Jamie says, “meet Miles Tanner, our culprit. He confessed this morning, and we’ve punished him in our own Omega Psi way, as you can see. Miles, say hi.”

Miles sneers, looks like he’s pissed at the committee, though we haven’t done anything to him…yet.

“I said, say hi, Miles,” Jamie repeats.

“Hi, Miles,” is all Miles gives us.

“What the hell is happening?” Ty mutters, clearly as surprised as I am by this display. Although, this wouldn’t be a first for Omega Psi.

“You’re just now telling us that you know who vandalized Zeta Tau?” I ask Jamie. “This could have been disclosed in an email or before the meeting.”

“Whoa, you’re already using words likevandalized. That’s why I knew I should wait and do it this way.”

“You thought this would set us at ease?” Ty asks.

“Eh,” is all Jamie says, shrugging.

“Well, we’re glad you caught him,” Marcus says. “But we need to notify the authorities. We need to write up a report for the destruction of property.”

“What, huh?” Jamie asks, like he’s just woken up in class and been surprised with a question. “Is that really necessary? I’ve held a meeting, punished Miles, and we’re happy to pay for the damage.”

“It’s important to remind everyone of the codes of conduct we all agreed upon,” Marcus says, “including what falls outside the umbrella of pranks, such as destruction of property. We don’t have a quote yet for the cost, but we’ll have to repaint because he used permanent paint, which is specifically against the rules.”

“And then we pay for the damage,” Jamie says. “Problem solved, right? It was an Omega Psi guy, but Miles’s action doesnot represent our house.”

I have to speak up. “I find it convenient that every time one of your frats is involved in a situation, you say it was a one-off. Or that it doesn’t reflect Omega Psi.”

“It’s just true,” Jamie doubles down.

“The prank you pulled on Ty and me last year was not a one-off. That was done by Omega Psi on two other rival frat presidents who have since graduated. Your frat was repeatedly fined for violating our codes of conduct through several fights and pranks.”

“You guys said you thought that prank with you was funny,” Jamie says.

Funny, but not because we were tied up together, but because of what happened after.

Which Jamie sure as hell doesn’t know.

And now, it’s not just a funny memory, but a hot one.

Kind of wonder how I didn’t see it that way when it was happening.

But it’s beside the point.

“What if one of us had been sick?” I ask. “Or needed to go to the hospital from alcohol poisoning?”

“That didn’t happen, though, did it?”

“You’re missing the point,” Ty says. “By creating a culture where your frats think these things are acceptable, you set the scene for something dangerous to happen.”

“This is different,” Jamie says. “Miles, explain what happened.”

Miles continues looking around the room, as though he’s in a daze from whatever weird-ass ritual took place before he arrived. “Uh…I think I was being nice to Zeta Tau calling them glory holes because I think glory holes are useful.”

“What the—” Marcus starts.

“Miles,” Ty says, “could you just tell us why you did that, please?”

I appreciate Ty for keeping this circus on task. At least attempting to.

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