Page 19 of Edge of Desperation

“I’ll make sure she knows,” he replies.

The men head toward the vehicles while I stay rooted in my spot. “Do you have a plan to keep her safe?”

Gen Parks crosses his arms. “I’m calling in Benson and his team. No one knew she was missing except for a handful of us. I kept it under wraps. It’ll stay that way.” His tone leaves no room for argument. “Wewillgive her life back to her one way or another. I’ll have Benson’s team watching herifshe decides to go back to Boston. I can protect her myself if she stays here. She’s like her mother, though, stubborn and independent.”

I raise my brow. “And her father, Sir?”

“Smartass,” General Parks chuckles. “Thank you all for bringing her home, Rivers.”

“Glad we found her, Sir.”

I wish it would’ve been sooner.

CHAPTER 6

AURORA

TWO MONTHS LATER….

“How’s the new apartment?”

Jessa tucks her legs underneath her ass. After trying a few different psychiatrists, I never felt comfortable until I met Dr. Jessa Stark, who insisted on me calling her Jessa. When I arrived for my first appointment, she led me into her office, plopped herself down in a leather recliner, and snuggled in like we’ve known each other for years. Jessa never pushes me to talk. Even when we sit in silence, it’s never awkward. There are days when I won’t say anything. At the end of those sessions, she tells me how nice it was to see me, and she can’t wait to see me again.

I sigh. “It’s good.”

“But you hate that you had to leave your home?” she offers.

While I was recovering in the hospital, I broke down and told my dad there was no way in hell I could ever go back to my house, but I didn’t want to leave Boston either. My home was no longer my safe haven. Dad didn’t even hesitate. He sent in movers, had everything packed up, called a realtor, listed it, and set me up in a high-rise apartment close to work with top-notch security.

“Not exactly.” I shrug. “I let them win. They forced me out of the first place I bought with my own money that I could call my own.”

Jessa cups her chin and places her elbow on her knee. “I see it differently.”

“How so?”

“Yes, you moved,” she agrees. “But they didn’t win. You sitting here talking to me proves they didn’t. You’re alive, taking backyourlife. It will take time to feel safe again, but you will get there. Letting them win means rolling over and becoming a shell of a person.”

That’s where our opinion differs. I’m hollow. Sure, my broken ribs have healed, and the stitches have dissolved, but something inside me died when I was taken and my body was abused. I plaster on a fake smile when I need to convince the outside world I’m doing fine, but on the inside, I scream, where no one can hear me. I want to claw my way out of my body and find a new one to inhabit. This one no longer suits me. All I see is filth when I look in the mirror. The constant reminder of what happened to me is etched into my skin permanently. I can’t even wear my hair up anymore, or someone might see it and start asking questions I don’t want to answer.

“I’m going out for lunch today,” I blurt, wanting to change the subject.

Jessa raises her brows. “Is Willow dragging you out?”

My lips curve up. “No, she’s been really supportive. She spends the night when I ask her to.”

Jessa nods. “Who are you meeting?”

“My boss,” I explain. “He wants to talk about me coming back to work. I’ve put it off long enough.”

“Are you ready to go back to work?”

Aren’t you supposed to be the one telling me that?

I look at her pointedly. “I don’t know. Do you think I am?”

“That’s not something I can answer for you,” she counters. “Only you can decide if you’re comfortable and feel safe enough to attempt going back to work.”

“I guess I’ll see how lunch goes.”

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