Page 112 of Cost of Courting

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I bite my lip and wander through the backyard, pausing when I find a fence panel that is at a bizarre angle. I reach out, intending to fix it, when I notice a bit of blood on the unpainted wood. The light is so dim now, sunset right here, but I know blood when I see it.

“No, Selene. What have you been doing now?” I grumble.

I push the fence aside and notice a faint trail in the dirt. I squeeze through and follow the path until I get to the back porch of this house on a different street.

Dot looks up when I stop in front of her and shakes her head.

“You’re not meant to be here. She’s not going to like you intruding.”

“She was bleeding when she came here. Why would she?” I pause, really looking at her. “Doctor? Dot, right?”

“Nurse. Yes, Bailey?”

I take a seat next to her, shaking my head when she offers me a cigarette. “No, thanks.”

“I know they’ll kill me, but I figured that everything is going to kill me and if I was going to have one vice, it was going to be this one.”

“Stress?”

“Stress and a lot of things, really. It’s not fun when you have to be the person who is constantly cleaning up the battalion of beaten women in this neighbourhood.”

“That’s a really honorable thing, Dot. Even if it is hard.”

“You’d think so, but maybe I just want to make sure I get a chance of a happy ever after, you know, when I croak it.”

I snort out a laugh. I like this straight shooting woman and her dry sarcasm.

“So, Selene fights a fair bit, huh? That path is worn.”

Dot grunts. “She does what she has to do. We owe her a great deal of thanks. Some of these people could have gone their whole lives with no one to fight for them. She’s changing their futures. How could I do anything else but mop her up when she comes crawling home?”

“She’s an omega. It’s dangerous.”

“She’s who she is, Bailey, you can’t change her or her nature. She might be an omega, but she’s got more alpha in her than any alpha I know. She understands that pack means protection, it means safety, it means everyone is fed, bills are paid, people are punished or ripped out the pack. Selene pulled us all in with home-cooked meals, kind words, fixing gardens or repairs, bringing shopping, standing between us and those who would hurt us. We didn’t trust her. No one believed in her, but, slowly, she pulled us into her web and showed us something different. She understands the heart of a pack, and when she lost hers…she built one instead. That’s the omega you’re so worried about.”

She snorts a laugh.

“Don’t be worried. Selene is the moon lighting the way home. Be afraid for everyone else. The moon goddess has no mercy.”

I sit back, and we fall into silence while I let her words sink in.

“Your dad let this territory go. He should have fought for it.”

I turn my head to look at her. “Why did he let it go?”

“I believe there was an issue with a girlfriend and a little girl who needed his help. Anderson stopped caring for a while, and we were the casualty of his grief.”

I wince. “Lia.”

“What?”

“That’s the name of my sister. Lia. She needed him, but he couldn’t help her.”

Dot nods in understanding. “Sometimes we can’t help. Everyone thinks you can, it's black and white. You either help or you don’t, but sometimes help makes it all worse.”

I frown and turn to face her. “What do you mean?”

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