Page 150 of Cost of Courting

Dot.

No!

I reach out and tangle my fingers with Selene’s. Her pain bleeds into the air, and I find my throat closing up.

As we approach, people part, moving out of our way. All these people I knew when I was growing up and the kids who are now new. They reach out and touch, brushing fingers across our arms and back.

My throat closes over, and I stiffly keep my eyes fixed on Dot’s photo as we approach.

Selene stops in front of it with me beside her. “You were my best friend. In a world where we weren’t able to be friends, you were the best secret I ever kept. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you.”

Selene starts to cry, and I turn, pulling her into my arms. She holds onto me while she presses one hand to her mouth and sobs.

In seconds, we’re surrounded, and I reluctantly let go of her as Peta, Mary, Clark, Moira, and Cindy pull her aside. They let their grief out today, hugging and crying. A pack mourning a beloved member.

“What happened?”

“They came for Dot two nights ago,” Mr Match says with a visible tremble he didn’t have a few weeks ago. Perhaps we’re all scarred by Benson’s reign of terror, but I don’t like seeing it on this gentle old man. “Beat her to death, apparently. The police have investigated briefly, but we all know they will rule it a random break and enter and not care. The point is that it will never happen again, will it?”

I look him straight in his rheumy eyes. “No, it won’t ever happen again.”

Mr Match nods and looks away. “Come have something to eat and drink. We’re going to be holding vigil here all day for whoever wants to say goodbye. It’s our tradition.”

He hands me a white flower.

“To pave the transition as she passes with something soft, something fragrant, and something from home.”

Why this small gesture chokes me up, I have no idea, but I take the flower and walk up to the photo of Dot.

“Thank you for helping me see what I was missing. May you rest in peace.”

I lay the flower down beside the others.

Over the course of the day, I learn that Luna and Jo have left in the night, gone to heal and try to find a way to live with their wounds. I’m not sure how I feel, but I can tell it was another blow Selene was hoping to avoid, but I suspect she was expecting it.

The grief for Dot is something private, but I’m surprised to find that we are included in it, part of it.

And then the doors open, and Andy and Zaden walk in. Despair and Mirakill together again. I turn, waiting to see what they are going to do, but they simply walk between the groups of people and pay their respects.

People are wary, but they relax when they see it’s them.

Bailey waits for his dad at the door, and I edge over that way, watching as they hug.

“You kicked me out, remember?”

“I know. I was wrong.”

Bailey closes his eyes, and when he opens them, he looks straight at me.

“You want me to join the club again?”

“I do,” Andy says.

“I’ll think about it.”

Zaden stops beside me, and I can’t help but tense. The rivalry between us goes deep. It always has.

“The Family will be descending on you to make sure Bailey is safe.”

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