Page 61 of Cost of Courting

She freezes, the stink of shame filling the room. “Yes. We’re friends. They are my friends.”

“So, you lied to me?”

“You hated them. What was I supposed to do?”

“Be on my side? After everything I’ve done to protect you, be on my fucking side, Lu.”

“They are my friends, too-”

“If this was simply a friend’s thing, you wouldn’t have hidden it.”

“It was for your own good!”

I bark out a laugh. “No, it wasn’t. No, fighting to make sure Mr Match doesn’t end up in a fighting ring is looking after someone. This was just you not thinking about anyone but yourself.”

Luna narrows her eyes, but they shine with tears. “You never would have let me speak to them!”

“Because they hurt me!” I scream at her. “Why are you so set on excusing the behaviour of alphas that hurt us? Why is it okay that they treat us so badly? Why are their feelings more important than mine?”

Luna opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.

“They are important to me,” Luna whispers. “And our dad loved us. You just didn’t understand him.”

I stare at her. “Dad tried to kill you and beat me every day. He didn’t love us at all. If their feelings are important, what about mine?” Her silence fills the kitchen as she stares at me. I wait, disappointment crushing me when she doesn’t say what I want to hear. “Don’t bother answering that. I’ve got somewhere to be.”

I get up and walk out of the door she just walked in, leaving her alone in the house. I don’t know where I’m going. My head is so full of horrible words and accusations. I just know I need to get away from everything.

From all these people.

I go to the garage and open the folding door. Inside is a beat up, rusted out piece of shit memorabilia to the past. My dad’s car. I tried to get rid of it, but it was actually going to cost me more to dump it than it would to keep it.

I snatch up the keys, get in, breathing the horrible smell of my father that still hasn’t dissipated. I start the car and listen to it splutter and cough. When it catches, I put it in gear and drive before anyone can think to stop me.

If they even notice.

My first stop is the petrol station. I fill up the tank and then just drive. I don’t think about where I’m going, I just let the roads guide me.

Day passes into night. My phone was ringing, so I switched it off. But now I’m sitting in an affluent neighbourhood with my beat up shitty car bringing down the glory of it.

The tank is showing its on empty, and, judging by its dying coughs, the car is done for. Could also tell from the black and white smoke billowing from it.

I push open the driver’s side door with effort and get out of the car. There’s nothing for it. I just walk away, leaving it behind.

I walk until I reach a shopping center, but it’s unlike anything I’ve ever shopped at. There’s no graffiti, no broken windows. No gang members hanging out the front of the doors threatening anyone. It’s open and light and inviting, even at night, like there’s no danger here. Like it’s safe to be out at night time with hundreds of dollars of purchases.

I wander inside, ignoring the curious looks from people. There are clothes that are pretty but completely impractical. Light, airy, bright colours like pink, sky blue, and lilac. There’s a shop with cutlery that costs hundreds of dollars and a bowl that has me wondering why you’d want a bowl that expensive.

I stand out. I don’t belong, and it’s painfully obvious.

The floor is marble and gleams white. The lights are bright, and the people who walk inside are happy and smiling. No one is sporting bruises or carrying weapons.

There is classical music playing in the background.

What even is this place?

I’ve almost done a lap, and my head is reeling. The place sparkles with all this newness I’ll never experience. I’ve seen places like this in movies, but I didn’t really think they existed. I guess it’s hard to see past the world you’re trying to survive in.

The distinction between their world and mine is clear as day.

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