Page 23 of Faking It (and falling in love)

There was a predictability to the school run that was both tiresome and therapeutic. Philippa had always enjoyed having a routine; there was something soothing about it, but she didn’t enjoy the eyes of all the other parents on her. She knew that Dottie would, inevitably, have told her classmates about her parents’ separation. Philippa was glad about that, but she knew it also meant that Dottie’s friends would have told their parents.

She wondered what people were thinking as she strolled in, and she was sure she’d felt a sense of curiosity from some of them when she’d had her hair cut. She’d been avoiding Hardev’s mum for a while. A renowned gossip, Nav Shah seemed to know everything about everyone, and was always delighted to talk about it.

Today was to be the day that her avoidance strategy failed. It was also World Book Day. Dottie hadn’t thought to tell her this fact until half past eight the night before.

“But I don’t want to be the witch fromRoom on the Broom,” whined Philippa’s daughter, dragging her heels along the high street.

“I’m afraid with only twelve hours’ notice, that was as good as I could muster,” replied Philippa, brusquely. She’d remembered the witch’s hat from a Halloween party the year before.

“But I wanted to be Taylor Swift in theReputationoutfit from The Eras Tour.” Dottie’s mouth had turned downwards in a huff.

“Right,” said Philippa. “One,Reputationis an album and not a book. Two, The Eras Tour is a live music event and not a book. And finally, that outfit would be entirely inappropriate for you to wear to school.” She pictured the sparkly one-piece Dottie had pointed out to her on her twenty-third rewatch of the filmed version of the concert.

“There are loads of books written about Taylor Swift. Loads.” Dottie was petulant, but only for about five paces, because then she bumped into Hardev.

“Cool,” she said. “Are you a knight?”

Hardev grinned. “Yep, I’m a knight of the Round Table from King Arthur. I’ve got loads of books about them. I am Sir Lancelot.”

Philippa briefly admired the costume, which had clearly been assembled with significantly more than twelve hours’ notice. If Hardev could manage to tell his mum in time, why couldn’t Dottie?

“Oh, Philippa, so lovely to see you,” said Nav. Her eyes looked both kind and hungry. Philippa knew she was done for, but she smiled her best business-like smile.

“Morning, Nav.”

The children walked on ahead, discussing the various merits of their costumes. Meanwhile, Nav moved almost uncomfortably close to Philippa as she walked alongside her. “Hardev tells me you and your husband have separated. I’m so sorry to hear that. Is everything ok?”

It was the sympathy that got to Philippa. The inevitable curiosity, dressed up in a head tilt. “Yes, thank you. It hasn’t been acrimonious or anything, thankfully. Just one of those things.”

Nav looped her arm through Philippa’s, and Philippa tried not to shudder. She wasn’t a fan of physical contact with anyone, unless she really wanted it, and then she’d usually be the one to initiate it. And harmless though Nav was, Philippa barely knew her.

“Family life can be a struggle, can’t it?” said Nav, her voice laden with sympathy.

“Well, I think we’re getting on quite well,” said Philippa, determined not to share any of her personal affairs with the playground gossip.

“That’s so good to hear. Dottie’s such a credit to you both. And by the way, I love the new look,” added Nav, using her other hand to gesture to Philippa’s hair.

“Thanks.”

“Very brave,” said Nav, somehow making Philippa feel like an outsider.

“It’s just a haircut,” said Philippa, removing her arm and finding an excuse to call Dottie back to her.

“Some of the mums were saying you look like a young Sandi Toksvig, but I said of course not, you’re straight, aren’t you?” Nav’s eyes glowed, as if they were burning into Philippa’s soul. Philippa knew that cutting her hair short made her more readable as a lesbian, but she hadn’t quite been prepared for this.

“Why would you think that?” asked Philippa, before she turned to Dottie. “Come on, darling, let’s return those library books before we head into school.” Nav remained rooted to the spot, still as a statue, looking as though she’d just won the gossip lottery.

Later that day after she’d dropped Dottie with Paul, she went to Chrissie and Nisha’s house for dinner and relayed the story. “Oh my God,” said Nisha, “that’ll have gone round the playground like wildfire.”

“Well, I guess it gets it all over with. I hadn’t realised how often one has to come out after you’ve come out to yourself,” said Philippa, admiring the couple’s home. They’d been living together for a while now and had worked hard to make their place a welcoming and cosy space.

“Well, props to you,” said Nisha. “I applaud you. You’ve certainly taken the bull by the horns.”

“Yes,” said Chrissie, smiling. “I’d have done anything to see her face when you said that.”

“I’ll be top of the gossip list now,” said Philippa, sampling Nisha’s new dahl recipe.

“Only for a few days,” said Chrissie. “You’ll be old news the moment another of the dads has an affair with a mum he’s not married to.”

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