Page 50 of Faking It (and falling in love)

“Jack’s sister?” said Philippa, beginning to piece things together.

“Yes, well that, too. Seeing her happy and settled and taking a risk for a second time made me see that perhaps even I could do the same. And then of course Jack popped up. I didn’t realise he was queer to start with, so it felt like an inconvenient crush.” He smiled at the memory.

“Are there ever convenient crushes?” asked Philippa.

“Ask your Sienna,” replied Charlie with a snigger. “But one evening I was supposed to go to the cinema with Kiera, but Seymour was poorly. Jack said he fancied seeing the film, so we went together. And the rest, as they often say, is history. He’s brought out parts of me I never expected to see again.”

“That’s lovely,” said Philippa.

“It hasn’t been without its difficulties. I’ve got to be honest, I nearly had a panic attack when he started routinely leaving his toothbrush and shower gel at my place.” He played with the rim of his glass.

“Why?” asked Philippa, furrowing her brow.

“I accused him of trying to move in by stealth,” replied Charlie with a wry smile.

“God, you didn’t?” said Philippa, rolling her eyes.

“I did. I also suggested he’d taken tips from his lesbian sister and was trying to U-haul. Perhaps not my finest hour. But he just said he wanted to be with me and didn’t see the point of taking his toothbrush back and forth between his place and mine. And in that one simple sentence, he had highlighted my issues with commitment.” Charlie pressed his lips together.

“Do you still have issues with commitment?”

“Yes. Old habits die hard,” Charlie admitted, “but I’m working on them.”

“Sounds like Jack is very patient,” said Philippa, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh shush. I am a treat,” said Charlie.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Philippa had a headache. It was to be expected, really, given how much she and Charlie had ended up drinking. She pressed her palms to her forehead, remembering the night before.

She rose from her bed, grateful she didn’t have an effervescent child to prepare for school. She was studiously avoiding her phone, dreading what might be waiting for her. Alex hadn’t replied last night, and in fairness, Philippa really didn’t blame her.

Just as that thought passed through her mind, her phone rang. Her stomach turned over and she grabbed it. But it was Paul. Or more specifically, Dottie, video calling her mum, as she did from time to time before school when she was with her dad.

“Hi, Mummy,” said Dottie.

Philippa ruffled her hair and tried to ignore how grey and hungover she looked. “Morning, lovely girl. How are you?”

“I’m good. Are you ok? You look like you’re poorly or something,” said Dottie, bringing her face closer to Paul’s phone to examine Philippa’s face more thoroughly.

“Oh, I’m fine,” said Philippa, throwing on her sunniest smile. “I didn’t sleep too well, so I’m a bit tired. That’s all.”

“Did Alex have another sleepover?” asked Dottie.

Philippa gave a tight smile. “No, not last night.” She knew Paul would be listening, and while she didn’t owe him any explanations, this wasn’t the conversation she needed this morning. “So, are you all ready for school?”

“Yes. I just wanted to ask you about something important,” said Dottie, who seemed to be roaming the house at speed. The movement was making Philippa feel nauseous.

“Ok, ask away,” said Philippa.

“If you had to be any sea creature, which would it be?” she asked. “Daddy said he’d be a crab, so he’d still have pincers to hold his golf clubs.”

“Of course he would,” said Philippa. “And what would you be?” she asked, desperately trying to think about all things nautical.

“I’d be a seahorse, of course,” said Dottie.

“Yes,” said Philippa, “of course. I think I’d probably be a sea anemone. Do you remember when we saw them in the rock pools in Paignton, when we visited last summer?”

---