Page 10 of Back Room Host

Breathe.

Everything’s fine.

As I straightened up again, my hands were still shaking like leaves, so I didn’t even dare to reach for the cup.

“Luca,” Hector said gently, stepping closer. “Are you okay?”

I managed to nod, but that was a lie. Nothing was okay. I still heard Jerome’s voice echoing in my head.

“No one will help you. No one will ever love you.”

Dazed, I clasped my mouth.

“Calm down. Take deep breaths. Can I do anything?”

It wasn’t a secret that I got overstimulated quickly. And unlike Sara, Hector knew that I had been bullied for years. Right now, my two biggest weaknesses were colliding, and I wanted to explode.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sara asked.

Hector brushed off her question with a casual gesture and sought my gaze.

At least I knew what would help me. Without a word, I staggered into my room and retrieved the kickboxing gloves from the training bag. Then I stood in front of the punching bag and started hitting it. At first, my punches felt dull and weak, but gradually, my spirits came to life and drove away the shadows with every strike.

Jerome.

Samir.

Cédric.

Armando.

Ben.

Fuck!

I was so grateful to Hector for allowing me to hang the punching bag. After the incident with Jerome, I found a way to channel my overflowing emotions through martial arts. Anger, fear, panic. By moving my body and pushing it to its limits with intense training, I managed to find inner peace again. I fell into a sort of trance and lost all sense of time. It had often happened that Dario, my trainer, had to pull me away from the punching bag because I had drifted off completely. But better to do that than to lose control and hurt people.

And so I kept going. Didn’t stop until the memories of years of abuse were banished.

4

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Juri

I didn’t realize why I had left the bar in such a hurry until I got home. I cursed myself for running away and leaving Luca alone. He not only ignited a warmth in me that I thought I had lost but also a shame that made it impossible for me to continue working as a callboy, because it went much deeper than just the fact that I was nothing.

As much as I had tried to comply with my buddy Clé’s invitation to socialize with others my age, this very circumstance had completely thrown me off track. I never expected that a young face, especially one as handsome as Luca’s, would hold up a mirror to me and show me what I lacked.

I would have preferred to stay at home all evening, but a regular client was waiting for me. So, dressed in my fanciest clothes, I entered a super fancy sushi restaurant and brought out all my acting talent to give him a great evening.

Stopping at the entrance, I scanned my surroundings. Almost all the tables were occupied, and my client was already sitting at the back, drinking a beer. Before squeezing past the tables, I took another quick look in the mirror next to the entrance door. A flawless appearance was required for this job, but due to the high humidity of this cursed autumn weather, my black hair was even frizzier, and I looked like … I don’t know … like a girl? And yet, I was not wearing any makeup! I would have tucked my hair behind my ears if I could, but they were half an inch too short.

Damn it!

There were a few umbrellas next to me on the stand, so I wet my hands on their fabric, glistening with raindrops, and ran my fingers through my hair several times. At least in thebeginning, it appeared like I had slicked my hair back. I hung my coat in the cloakroom and smoothed out the jacket I was wearing underneath. Putting on fancy clothes for a client wasn’t a big deal; after all, my efforts were accordingly rewarded. I took a deep breath once more, then made my way through the restaurant. As I approached the table, I spotted him typing something on his phone.

“Hello, Mr. Lawyer,” I said in a deep voice, laying my hand on the back of the chair and giving him a charming smile.

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