Page 112 of Back Room Host

“As I said, I pulled him out after that incident. And about a week ago, my dear boyfriend recruited him.”

Then, unexpectedly, I heard the sound of keys jingling and the creaking of the front door as it swung open. In walked a man with brown hair and glasses perched on his nose.

I know him. Wasn’t he the photographer at Exil who hit on Juri with that curly head during the concert? This must be Alex.

Behind him, I spotted Juri. He closed the door, took off his shoes, and hung his knee-length coat in the wardrobe. When he saw me, he froze in place.

“Come on,” Alex said to him, rolling a suitcase into the living room. The way he winked at me made it obvious he was in on this.

Meanwhile, I stood next to the coffee table, feeling like my heart had stopped. I shook hands with Alex, but my eyes were on Juri, who approached reluctantly.

As usual, all in black, hair styled into a quiff, and his eyes subtly adorned with makeup. His mere presence had a weakening effect on me, causing my pulse to quicken once more.

Meanwhile, Alex passed by me and greeted Noé. Then he went into the kitchen, grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets, and filled it with tap water. “Would you like something too, Juri?”

Alex was great at pretending everything was normal. Somehow, I was even grateful for that. It made me feel like things weren’t that bad.

But something sparked in Juri’s eyes. He looked past me to Noé, and his lower eyelids twitched. “You planned this, didn’t you?” He sounded pretty pissed off.

“Of course. He called me,” Noé replied in a laid-back tone. “Look at it this way: Now we’re even.”

I had no idea what he was alluding to, but Juri sighed. He still stood about fifteen feet away from me, appearing undecided, so I gathered my courage and took a step toward him.

“Hi,” I said, clearing my throat. Before I could continue, I glanced briefly over my shoulder at Noé, who was still sitting on the couch. Alex was behind the kitchen counter, drinking his water.

Alright, then, with an audience. Maybe that’ll improve my chances.But my uncertainty resurfaced.Urgh … who am I kidding?

I knew I couldn’t avoid pouring my heart out here, so I took another step toward Juri.

“I’m sorry. I was a complete idiot. What I did was disrespectful to you and unforgivable. Please …”I could see in his face that he was searching for words but couldn’t find them. That was totally okay—considering how I blindsided him here. “I don’t expect you to forgive me here, but please give me a chance to make it right. I…” The moment of truth was here, and my voice failed me. I cleared my throat again and took a deep breath. “I finished the film, and it would mean a lot to me if you watched it.”

Juri bit his lower lip where he had the piercing and clenched his right hand into a fist. Somehow, it comforted me greatly to know he was left-handed. On the other hand, I knew all too well that he wouldn’t shy away from a fight. But I would have let him beat me up because I would never hurt him in any way again.

“You can run the film through the projector,” Alex piped up.

Juri shook his head and flinched. “I don’t want to see it.” His voice sounded weak and scared.

Who could blame him? If what Noé had told me hadn’t even been two weeks ago, I had chosen a terrible time. But I wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“Trust me, the film is not what you think. The short clip you saw … gave you a completely wrong impression. I’m not exposing you, in case you’re afraid of that. I’m giving you a voice. Because you’re important to me. Please, watch the film. It’s only 15 minutes.”

Since Juri didn’t object anymore, Alex lowered a white screen using a remote control. I started my laptop and connected it to the projector. Alex sat next to Noé and put his arm around him, as if we were setting up for a movie night. I settled into my seat and watched as Juri approached with hesitance. As he perched on the armrest of the reading chair, a sense of relief washed over me. With a deep exhale, I pressed play.

As the film played in the background, my attention was solely on Juri. I didn’t want to miss any of his reactions. When his voice broke through after the intro, it was evident that he struggled to stay seated. He clenched his fingers on his knees and took deep breaths. Despite his hesitancy to watch the film, he bravely continued to watch.

The next fifteen minutes were an ordeal for me. It was easier when Verena watched the film, although she was my harshest critic. But this was about much more than just a final project. I wanted to show Juri that I hadn’t misused his voice for some nonsense. That the collected material was valuable and not, as he may have believed, the result of a lie.

As the film neared its finale, I was utterly drained.

“Many of them are nice,”you could hear Juri say. On screen, he stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray.“They pay me for a few hours, and I give them what they want. It doesn’t matterwho I am. But it’s nice when they don’t treat me like a piece of meat.”

Every time he said those words, it sent shivers down my spine. And when I saw their effect on Juri, my throat tightened. Juri visibly felt uncomfortable as he turned away, his lips pressed together. I wanted to sit next to him and hug him. While I didn’t know what had happened ten days ago, one thing was certain: These guys had not treated him respectfully at all.

These assholes raped him.

The film ended, and the credits rolled. I had listed Juri as a speaker with the initials J. V. The room fell silent. Everyone seemed to be processing what they had just seen. I could feel the tension rising and held my breath. Juri abruptly stood up and walked toward the entrance. He disappeared into a room and closed the door behind him.

“Shit.” With my elbows on my knees, I buried my face in my hands. “What have I done?”

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