Page 18 of Back Room Host

“He asked about you.”

Without a word, I turned my back on Romero and inserted the key into the lock.

“He wanted to know how you’re doing.”

“Leave me alone, Romero. And when you see him next time, tell him I’m dead.”

“But he’s yourfamilia.”

I stood still in front of the closed door, pressing my lips together. With all my might, I focused my thoughts on the only person who came closest to being family.

Noé.

He was the reason I had survived the horror.

With a jerk, I opened the door but paused once more. “See you,” I whispered and stepped inside.

With shallow breaths, I stood in the dark hallway and leaned my back against the door. In moments like these, I was glad I couldn’t receive clients at home, even if I had a spare room. I sank down to the floor and rested my forehead on my knees while covering my ears.

“Where are you, you good-for-nothing!” he yelled as he ripped the door open and delivered such a powerful blow that I collided with the wall and slumped down.

When I regained consciousness, he had already grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bed. My head was still pounding, but my fear overwhelmed everything as I looked up at him.

“I didn’t do anything,” I dared to say, but it only made him angrier.

With a flushed face, he unfastened his belt and pulled it out of the loops. My heart raced up to my throat, and my whole body trembled with fear.

“I’ve had enough!” he growled angrily. “That’s it! I’m going to kill you!”

With the first blow, I curled up small, trying to protect my head. Again and again, the buckle whipped down on me until I slumped to the ground, powerless. He kicked me forcefully in the stomach, causing me to curl up in pain.

“You worthless piece of shit!” he screamed with rage. “How can you be my son? You’re absolutely useless! You should be ashamed! Ashamed!”

With each blow, I longed for death to come, but it simply didn’t come to rescue me.

I furiously punched myself in the head, trying to focus on something else.

Calm down! Everything is okay. He’s not here. It’s over. He doesn’t have power over you anymore.

But it was no use. I was slipping into darkness, and it was just as frightening as the memories themselves. The walls closed in, threatening to crush me, and I felt smaller and smaller.

Everything I had achieved in my life was permeated by a thick sense of shame. Like a dense fog, it rolled in and swallowed me whole. I felt like the lowest piece of shit, becoming what my old man had always seen in me. My throat constricted, and I gasped for air. With trembling hands, I pulled out my phone, ignoring the many unread messages, and opened the chat with Noé.

“Stoney. Are you there?”

I couldn’t call, or I would have screamed and cried out loud. Typing helped me focus. For a while, I stared at the screen, but Noé didn’t respond. It even seemed like he had turned off his phone.

Damn it!

My heart raced faster and faster. I leaned my head back against the door behind me and tried to take deep breaths.

Think of something nice.

The first thing that came to mind was Luca’s face and his platinum blond hair. He hadn’t left my mind since then. I kept seeing his storm-gray eyes over and over again. God! I even remembered the mole on his chin. But what had stuck with me the most was his dreamy and polite manner.

I had no idea what he saw in me, but it definitely wasn’t the wreck I was right now. I quickly wiped away a tear and gasped for air. Thinking of him calmed me down a bit, and gradually, the tight feeling in my chest loosened.

I struggled to get up and went to my room. I hung up my coat in the closet and took off the scarf from around my neck. I tied it into a loop and hung it on the door handle. Then I sat back against the door, looped the self-tied noose around my neck, and leaned forward, cutting off my own air supply.

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