Page 46 of Back Room Host

The drugs.But I didn’t say that out loud.

“Toothbrush and toiletry bag,” I said. That’s where I kept everything I needed. I lugged it around to almost every one of my gigs.

“Okay, anything else?”

“My pillow.”

“Your … what? You’re getting a fully furnished room.”

“Bring me my pillow,” I insisted.

“Fine. Is that everything?”

“I think so.”

Shortly after, Luca returned to the car with my bag on his back and the pillow under his arm. “And if you’ve forgotten anything, we can just go back and get it,” he said as he sat next to me in the backseat.

I couldn’t muster a laugh. He was taking the situation way too lightly for my taste. “I’m in the process of moving in with you, and I barely know you. What does that say about me?”

Luca turned serious. “Listen. I’m really sorry about what happened. I hope you understand that I’m trying to make it right.”

“But it doesn’t look like much of a sacrifice to me.”

“Does it have to be?”

I was starting to get furious. “Just do me a favor. It’s pathetic enough that I have no other choice, but just leave me alone with this inspirational crap. I really don’t need it.”

“It’s not like there’s a switch for that, but I’ll try not to annoy you with it.”

The way he spoke to me, with that gentle voice dripping with empathy, hit a nerve that made me even more depressed, so I picked up the pillow, rested my injured hand on it, and stared out the window.

“You’re not pathetic,” Luca said softly.

That didn’t make my emotional turmoil any better. “I just want to sleep.”

It felt like a relief when we finally started driving, yet the situation gnawed at me. And whether I was pathetic. My life was built around getting by on my own. I refused to rely on others. It was so ingrained that it didn’t even make it onto my list of rules. Yet here I was, crippled and completely battered, being chauffeured to a stranger’s apartment.

Only until January 4th. Then I get that walking boot and can do whatever I want again. At least I hope so. Fuck! That’s way too long!

We sat silently in the car, driving to Luca’s place. He lived in the Niederdorf, a bit off the main road, on a parallel street. I knew the area well, as there was a small gay scene in the two bars there.

Luca instructed the driver where to stop and helped me out of the car. He took my right arm over his shoulder and supportedme. I hopped along beside him down the hallway, already out of breath by the time we reached the elevator.

Everything appeared clean and tidy. Damn, man! You even felt welcome in the entrance hall. We rode up to the fifth floor, and as I leaned against the mirror, I noticed Luca looking at me repeatedly, but I was too tired to respond.

“I think Sara is still home today, so we should try to be quiet. But I know she’s leaving to go visit her parents tomorrow and staying there until the semester starts.”

I nodded and watched as the numbers changed and we ascended to the fifth floor. Unfortunately, Luca was right. It would have been impossible to stay in my own apartment. When the elevator door opened, he supported me again and led me to the entrance. A shoe rack sat there with the word “Welcome” written in flowing letters.

This sucks.

Luca led me into the dark apartment. In the dim light, a living room opened to my right with a huge couch and a monstrously large flat-screen TV. Adjacent to it was the kitchen with an island and a round dining table by the window.

“This is Sara’s room,” Luca whispered, pointing to a closed door to our left. “And this is mine.” He continued to lead me and opened a door directly across the kitchen, then turned on the light. “You can use this room. It’s been empty for about six months.”

He guided me straight to the bed, and I sat down, trying to catch my breath. Meanwhile, Luca switched on the small lamp on the nightstand and turned off the ceiling light. I sat on a double bed and surveyed my new home.

The first thing that caught my eye was the hardwood floor. Unlike my own place, it showed no signs of wear or broken spots. It looked brand new. And there were no holes in the plaster onthe walls either. They were smooth and appeared to have been freshly painted.

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