Page 48 of Back Room Host

–––––

Juri

I sat at the breakfast table, watching Luca absentmindedly stir his coffee with his spoon for what felt like five minutes, completely lost in thought as he stared into the creamy liquid. Strangely enough, his inattentiveness suited me fine, as the excessive attention he had given me last night was overwhelming. Plus, everything hurt, and I was struggling to eat a piece of toast just to have something in my stomach before taking the painkillers.

The doctor was right. My head was pounding, and it wasn’t because of the whiskey colas from yesterday. When I had checked my torso in the bathroom, it wasn’t surprising to find dark bruises where it felt like a rib was sticking out.

Luca’s state of mind worried me a bit. He seemed so withdrawn, as if the events of last night had drained him. By now, I was certain that interacting with strangers exhausted him. Perhaps it was because he put so much effort into being polite. He generally seemed more relaxed in my presence.

“And what are you going to do now?” I ventured to ask, feeling certain he was back to working on the concept his mentor had rejected. “What’s next?”

“Fuck … I have no idea,” he finally said. “She said I could contact her anytime if I needed something. We even scheduled another meeting shortly before the semester starts.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“No idea.”

He let go of the spoon and sighed. Damn! It had only been a few days since we had jerked off together. And now I was sitting here with him at the table, and he was acting like none of that ever happened. I tried not to stare at him.

Why does he have to be so hot?

It’s not like I have zero experience with guys my age, but Noé has always been like a brother to me. And Clé and Sandro are into women, so that’s different. But Luca completely confuses me. I wouldn’t have expected him to care for me in such a—damn, there was no other word for it—loving way. It never occurred to me to call him when I needed to go to the bathroom at night. However, it seemed he didn’t sleep enough, because as I managed to rise early in the morning, using the chair for support, he suddenly stood beside me.

“I’ll help you,” he had said, pushing the chair aside and supporting me.

Of course, the first weird moment happened in the bathroom, when he stood there for a moment not knowing what to do.

I told him I could handle myself, and he had smiled at me in such a sweet way that even my stone heart softened.

After that, he helped me back to bed and I slept for a few more hours.

As noon approached, sunlight flooded the room, accompanied by faint noises emanating from Sara’s room.

“Want another coffee?” Luca asked, probably trying to distract himself from his tormenting thoughts.

“No, thanks.”

I sat by the window, staring at the roofs and rooftop terraces of the Niederdorf and wondering what the apartment here must cost. Compared to mine in the Erotic World, this one was like a palace. The kitchen alone was as big as my bedroom. And the storage room with the washer and dryer was as big as my kitchen.

Out of pure habit, when I went to pick up my cup with my left hand and flinched in pain, I accidentally knocked over an emptywater glass. Ten minutes ago, I dropped the knife on the floor because I thought I could spread the toast myself.

“Fuck!”

“It’s okay,” Luca said, picking up the glass.

“I feel so damn clumsy. That’s not like me at all.”

“Nice to know it’s not just me,” he said, smiling.

I remembered how he dropped his keys and cigarettes on the floor when he left the café and almost stumbled over the threshold. Now that I knew him a little better, I had to admit, his clumsiness was cute.

But it didn’t change the anger I had toward myself. I had sworn never to feel so helpless and vulnerable again, but here I was. Turned into a cripple who could barely go to the bathroom alone. I didn’t even want to imagine how I was supposed to wash myself.

“Well, I’ll get going then,” Sara said, throwing her bag on the couch and filling up a water bottle in the kitchen.

She was younger than Luca but acted like she was taking care of him like a big sister. Luca was rather reserved toward her, which didn’t surprise me. She seemed petty wise for her age. When I found out that she was studying psychology, I felt uneasy around her, regardless of how nice she might be. I was glad she was leaving, because even though she seemed interested in getting to know me, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was also suspicious of me.

“Take care of yourself,” she said to Luca as she hugged him goodbye.

---