Page 58 of Back Room Host

“As I said, once your hand is back in action, I’ll show you.”

On Wednesday, I sat on my chair by the window and smoked a cigarette while watching Luca load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I was sure the guy had no idea how attractive he was—and how peculiar. I had never met anyone like him.

Exactly one week had passed since he threw me down the stairs with martial force. Since then, he had truly taken good care of me. However, I couldn’t escape the feeling that there was an insurmountable gap between us.

Yes, we spent time together, watched movies, and chatted about all sorts of things. But our conversations never went deep. I knew I was the one who let him believe I was a chef. Moreover, he didn’t need to be a genius to know why I ended up staying with him over Christmas. I was sure he had drawn his own conclusions about my family, but polite as he was, he didn’t ask any questions about it. Perhaps this was partly why there was a distance between us.

He was a closed book to me. I knew nothing about him. Not even whether he had enjoyed our encounter in the back room. Normally, I had a sense of whether my clients were happy, but he was more closed off in that regard. And he wasn’t even a client!

Part of me wanted to shove the truth about my job in his face just to see how Luca would react. But each time, this feeling of shame overwhelmed me and held me back.

Luca wasn’t a little kid anymore, still believing in Santa Claus. He would surely have coped with it. It was me who panicked and tried to distract myself with the sex chat or the photo blog. My fear of how Luca would look at me afterward was too great, so I decided to wait until I was no longer dependent on his help. Despite the distance between us, I actually liked the way he looked at me.

And I enjoyed watching him. The guy was even hot when he loaded the dishwasher. A strand of hair fell on his face as he bent down to place the plates on the rack. Since I’d been living here, he had already gone to training several times. I would have liked to know what it looked like under his white sweater. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been granted that sight at Exil.

I took a drag on the cigarette, exhaled the smoke into the cold winter air, and wondered why all this was bothering me so much. After all, he shouldn’t matter to me. I was just passing time here, and soon our paths would diverge once more. Obviously, I had fulfilled my role as muse, although I was clueless about his concept.

Luca closed the dishwasher and brushed the strand of hair from his forehead with his forearm. As he walked over to the sink, he washed his hands.

“Have you made any progress on your project?” I asked, tapping the ash off.

Luca grimaced. “Touchy subject you’re bringing up there.”

That alone made me weak, and I tried not to gawk at him. So, I acted like I didn’t care and took another drag of my cigarette. “So, you have given up?”

He approached the open window where I was and also lit a cigarette. “Given up? I wish I could. I have to go through with it. Looks like I’ll have to pull something out of thin air.”

“That doesn’t sound very optimistic.”

“Ha! No, you’re right about that. And not very creative either. Fuck … I wanted to do something creative. Like you!”

My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged and nodded toward the laptop behind me. “Well, you take photos, don’t you?”

“How do you know that?”

“I’ve seen you. You’re trying all sorts of things with your phone. And you’ve been reading that photography blog all the time.”

For a moment, I just stared at him. He had caught me, and I hadn’t even noticed. “Why are you …?”

“You’ve taken photos of me too,” he said, winking at me.

“They were just test shots,” I justified.

“No problem. Doesn’t bother me. I know I’m not photogenic.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion. The guy had no idea!

“Maybe you’ll show them to me someday.”

I could only clear my throat at that. Unfortunately, my cigarette had burned down, so I stubbed it out in the ashtray and slid back on the chair toward the table. Meanwhile, Luca grinned at me and finished his cigarette.

“What?” I asked grumpily as I turned back to the screen.

“Nothing.”

“Are you teasing me about that now?”

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