Page 7 of Back Room Host

Stupidly, that only made him more interesting to me.

What’s the harm in playing muse? The guy should feel honored!

Should I have been more specific?

No, because that’s the point! I want to be inspired by him.

I paid for the drinks and put on my jacket. There was no reason for me to stay any longer. I left the bar and headed toward Niederdorf, the old part of Zurich. The rain picked up again, thundering down on me in heavy drops, yet a smile spread across my face.

I hadn’t lied when I told him that he caught my eye from the beginning. His dark aura had drawn my gaze time and time again. Like a gathering storm, he had sat there for half the afternoon, nervously tapping his foot as if waiting for a verdict, and then, on the phone, he exploded.

Glorious!

The guy’s pale face clearly indicated he had a story to tell. Despite the tension, he managed to stay cool the entire time.

Did he suddenly panic?

Why?

At first, I thought he was introverted, given he had spent most of the time with half his face hidden behind the scarf. But just because the guy was dressed in all black, as if he were going to a funeral, apparently didn’t mean he couldn’t be explosive. Itwas only after I placed the hot chocolate in front of him that I noticed the light makeup around his eyes and the silver piercing on the side of his lower lip.

Fuck … And he would have been perfect.

Was I too forceful?

Or maybe not forceful enough?

Once again, I was confused. But what could I do when I had imposed restraint on myself—in all aspects of my life? That was the only way I could be sure not to lose control and hurt people. Because outside the ring, that would never happen again.

I will find a muse, and then I will make a great film project.

Unfortunately, my ideas were still buzzing around in my head like a swarm of bees, getting lost in the complexities. What I wouldn’t give to be a coffee machine.

Just flip the main switch, then press the button, and everything will flow out in a concentrated stream.

Fuck! It had been so easy with Matteo.

I faltered.

Juri had clearly reminded me of Matteo. He too had black hair, angular features, and was just as slim. Matteo had a certain brashness and sometimes came across as curt with other people—except toward the end when he suddenly became romantic after he thought he had fallen in love with me. But Juri was a bit different. Even if he had been loud in public and shamelessly asked for a second packet of chocolate powder, he did it with a charm that Matteo had lacked.

Juri definitely had that certain something.

I chuckled at my own interest. It seemed like he was the kind of guy who would catch my attention.

At least I knew I wanted to make a short film. I didn’t see myself in the documentary realm at all. What pained me, though, was the concept. Even my mentor, Verena, knew that this was one of my biggest weaknesses. I wished I had herconfidence because right now, I had nothing to show her. And our next meeting was already on Monday.

When I arrived home ten minutes later, I was soaked to the bone. Shivering, I fumbled for the key and tried to insert it into the lock of my building, only to drop it again—a sign that I just wasn’t on top of things today.

Best to lose myself in a video game.

Maybe that’ll ignite the necessary spark.

Looking forward to a hot shower, I took the elevator up to the fifth floor, kicked off my shoes in the stairwell, and removed my jacket before entering.

Hector, my landlord, hated mess and dirt and never got tired of reminding us that we didn’t have a maid. But since he let me and another student live here in luxury at a bargain price, I was happy to do my part and clean up.

Hector Lando was a lawyer and seldom here anyway, as he still had a house in the Zurich Oberland, in the countryside close to Zurich. He lived there with his family, including his two teenage daughters. He originally acquired this luxury apartment in Niederdorf as an office. Besides the two rooms he claimed for himself, there were three others that he fully furnished and sublet to students. One was currently vacant, so Sara and I inhabited a 1300-square-foot luxury apartment with a terrace and a view over Niederdorf toward the lake.

---