“You just have to try harder if you want to make friends,” she would say.
What was wrong with wanting to be left alone?
The action had drained too much of my strength for me to resist her now anyway. But at that moment, I didn’t care about anything.
We were already nearing the staircase when I felt sick at once. But Mrs. Schreiber was more occupied with berating me than noticing my condition.
I was as tall as her now, but the way she pulled me along clearly showed that she wasn’t aware of that. I roughly pushed her away, turned around, and vomited. Tears filled my eyes, and I didn’t even know where they were coming from. Yes, I had killed someone, but he had made my life hell for years.
Behind me, I heard a phone ringing. Mrs. Schreiber answered it.
“Yes, he’s here with me … Alright, we’ll wait,” she said. Then she approached me. “Someone will be here soon.”
With my legs pulled up, I leaned against Juri’s bed feeling utterly miserable. Juri was gradually coming to, coughing lightly, and rolling onto his shoulder. When he noticed me, he paused in surprise. He removed the scarf loop from his neck and placed it on the bed. Once more, he coughed, casting me an apologetic glance.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His words threw me off. “Are you serious?” I snapped, my anger flaring as I glared at him. “What was that? Do you want to die or something?”
Juri raised an eyebrow as if he didn’t understand my words. “That has nothing to do with it.”
My jaw dropped. “Do you think choking games are harmless? Are you out of your mind? What if something goes wrong? You could end up with brain damage! Do you even realize that?” I paused, noticing a calmness in his eyes. My words didn’t seem to be getting through to him at all. “Did you take something?”
A gentle smile crossed his face as he shoved his hair back. “Unfortunately, it was my last stash that Clé brought me on New Year’s Eve.”
My mouth fell open even wider; I was speechless. “You’ve completely lost it!”
“Why are you so upset? There’s nothing wrong with it.”
Those words triggered something in me that I couldn’t control anymore. I felt so helpless. Like back then when Jérôme kept getting to me. On that day, I had sworn to myself never to feel that way again. But overwhelmed by the situation, I lacked any strength. I slumped my shoulders, lowered my head, and breathed heavily.
“Are you okay?” Juri asked, confused.
“No. I’m not okay.”
“What can I do?”
“I don’t know … I just want to stop thinking about everything.”
“That can be arranged,” he said, moving closer.
As I looked up, he stroked my cheek with his thumb, leaned in, and kissed me. I could sense the intoxication behind his glassy gaze as he brushed back a strand of hair, but his soft lips pushed away my tormenting thoughts. Sliding my hand around his neck, I kissed him back.
26
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Luca
I carefully removed my arm from under Juri’s head and sat up. My stomach growled, reminding me of the time. A quick glance at my phone showed it was already seven o’clock. It was definitely time to eat.
Juri had fallen asleep, and I wondered if it was because of the drugs. The fact that he had taken something bothered me; I didn’t know why, but I took it personally. Still, my concern outweighed my anger, and it saddened me to see him pumping himself full with this crap.
I got dressed and quietly left the room, letting him sleep a little longer. Once dinner was ready, I would wake him up. After a quick shower, I started cooking. While chopping carrots for the tomato sauce, I heard keys jangling at the door. Moments later, Hector entered the apartment, impeccably dressed in his usual suit and tie.
Since that day with Juri, I hadn’t seen him. I still hoped he hadn’t noticed me then, but I couldn’t be completely sure.
“Hello,” he said casually.