Page 86 of Back Room Host

“And what’s this?” I exclaimed.

“I’ll cut that out!”

I shook my head, losing all control over my facial expressions. “I should have known you wouldn’t stick to the agreement. I was so stupid!”

“Please, Juri! These are just audio recordings.”

“No! They’re not!”

My own voice in the recording almost managed to crumble the thick wall that was preventing me from falling apart. Luca rushed to the keyboard and paused the clip. Then he turned back to me and grimaced.

“I thought, I …”

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear it,” I growled and left the room.

“Wait! We should talk about this.”

“So you can record it?” I snapped at him. “No! I’ve talked enough!”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You did a great job! What a fool I was! To think that what we had between us was something unique. But thanks! That makes it much easier for me to throw away the feelings I have for you and end this whole farce.”

With those words, an inner voice screamed in pain. I wouldn’t just shrug off the past few weeks, but since there was no other way for me, it was good that it ended this way. I stormed into my room and grabbed my bag from the closet, stuffing all my belongings into it.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” I zipped up the bag. “I’m outta here!”

“But …”

“Save it!”

“But … feelings? For me?”

Either he was a great actor, or he was a huge idiot who was genuinely surprised by this unexpected turn of events. Either way, I was done. With my bag slung over my shoulder, I tucked the pillow under my arm and pushed past him. In the living room, I reached for my laptop and headed toward the coat rack.

“Juri. Where are you going?”

“Where do you think?”

Luca seemed completely taken aback and couldn’t keep up at all. Filming me without my consent felt like he had ripped out my heart and stomped on it. He had deceived me, leaving me feeling foolish and betrayed.

How could I even allow myself to harbor such feelings for him? It was obvious that they weren’t genuine. Perhaps mine were, but the notion of someone accepting me on my terms seemed nothing more than wishful thinking. Anger toward myself surged so fiercely that I struggled to breathe. Despite theurge to scream, I gritted my teeth and dropped the items I was carrying to tie my shoes.

“You have feelings for me?” Luca asked beside me. “Are you … in love with me? That’s absurd. Nobody falls in love with me.”

“I just figured out what a big idiot I am, didn’t I!” I exclaimed, straightening up. I longed to return to my former life, where I was the one pretending to everyone. At least then, I knew how to navigate it all.

“But we’ve been having a good time together.”

“Why did you even bring me here? You could’ve not cared what happened to me!” I gave him five seconds, hoping for an answer, but all he did was grimace, so I slipped into my coat and turned away.

“Please, Juri. Don’t go. We can …”

“Shit, man!” I said coldly and grabbed my stuff. “I don’t even know why I spend time with you. You’re not even a paying customer.” My own words felt like a spear in my chest. Before I shattered into a thousand pieces, I threw open the door and got on the elevator.

Luca followed me but always kept a three-feet distance. There was an expression on his face that I had never seen before. Incomprehension? Fear? Sadness? Panic?

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