Page 100 of Notes About Vodka

Val pulls me off the counter, flips me around and is fucking me from behind as my third orgasm hits. I can hear Val’s groans and growls behind me. It turns me on more. Especially when he spanks my ass and finally erupts inside me as I come one more time.

Val collapses on top of me, using his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face.

“Laura, juicy, fuck baby,” Val says as he rubs my back, massaging the muscles along my spine.

An alarm goes off.

“Oh, shit. Hang on, Laura,” Val says as he turns towards the stove, stopping the alarm. Grabbing the pan holder, he opens the oven door, pulling out steaming fluffy biscuits.

“Val, those look so amazing,” I tell him as I wrap my arms around him from behind. “I’m going to miss your cooking while I’m gone.”

I sigh into his back.

We haven’t talked much about me leaving for my grandparents and then going straight to my internship after visiting them. I know he still doesn’t like the idea of me going at all.

My thoughts are confirmed when his back tenses.

“Laura,” Val begins, turning and breaking my hug around him. “Don’t go. Stay here. I don’t want you to leave.”

“But, Val, I told you. I need this, for me, for us, for an actual future.”

Val looks resigned. He doesn’t reply or say a thing as he quietly serves our breakfast.

After eating and cleaning the dishes, I head to our room to pack.

I’m in the middle of folding my last shirt into my suitcase when I hear Val’s footsteps approach, slow and deliberate. He stands in the doorway, hands in his pockets, looking at me with an intensity that makes me swallow hard.

“So, you’re really going,” he says quietly, more to himself than to me.

I pause, choosing my words carefully. “Val, we talked about this. I’m only gone for a little while, and it’s an incredible opportunity. You know how much this internship means.”

He sighs, crossing his arms. “But at what cost, Laura? It’s always something you need to do, some step you’re taking toward some bigger goal, and I’m just supposed to…what, wait in the background?”

I drop the shirt in my hands and turn to him, frustrated. “It’s not like that, and you know it. This isn’t about you or me—it’s about my future, our future.”

His eyes harden. “Our future? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. I’ve barely seen you these past few weeks, and the second I feel like we’re finally getting close again, you’re already planning to leave.” His voice cracks a little, and he looks away, jaw clenched. “Do you even know what it’s like to wonder if maybe I’m not enough to make you want to stay?”

I open my mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. I never meant for it to feel this way. “Val, you are enough. Didn’t what we just do in the kitchen mean anything?” I whisper, reaching for him, but he takes a step back.

“No, Laura, don’t say that,” he says, his voice tight withbarely contained anger. “Because every time I ask you to stay, you tell me some reason you have to go. To me, it just sounds like you’re already looking for your next escape. And it hurts like hell. You let me fuck you, but then you turn and leave.”

The words sting more than I want to admit, and I feel tears prickling at my eyes. “You know it’s not like that,” I protest, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m working hard so we can have a life together that’s actually secure. And yeah, I let you fuck me,” I add in air quotes, “because you are my boyfriend. Because I like how our bodies intertwine together.”

He shakes his head, looking defeated. “Then why does it feel like I’m the one holding you back? Like you’ve got one foot out the door already every time some new opportunity calls. I want someone who’s in this with me. Fully.”

His words sink in, deep, and I feel myself cracking under the weight of his disappointment. “I thought you understood,” I say, my voice breaking. “I thought you wanted this for me, for us. That we agreed this internship is a good thing.”

He laughs bitterly, a hollow sound that chills me. “You know what? Go. Chase whatever you think is out there for you. I hope it makes you happier than I ever could.” His face softens just a little, but his eyes stay hard. “But don’t ask me to pretend like it doesn’t tear me apart every time you choose anything over us.”

That does it. Tears spill over, and I stand there, my mouth open, but no words seem right. I hear Skipper’s car horn honking outside, but I can’t move. “Val, I...”

He just shakes his head, his face closed off. “Don’t worry about it, Laura. I’m done asking you to stay.”

Without another word, he turns and walks away, leaving me standing there, my heart feeling as heavy as lead.

My phone pings, Skipper.

Skipper: I’m here. Want me to come in and help?

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