Page 18 of Notes About Vodka

He laughs, his dark eyes lighting up in that way that always makes my heart skip a beat. "I don’t know what I expected, but I definitely didn’t see this coming." He gestures to the colorful scooter with a nod of approval. "But it suits you."

I raise an eyebrow, challenging him. “Oh, yeah? How’s that?"

Val leans back against his car, eyes still on me. "You’ve got this energy...like you don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks. And that thing," he nods at Buddy again, "is just as bold as you are."

I can’t help but smile at that. His words hit me harder than I expected, like he sees me—really sees me. It’s strange anddisarming, the way his gaze feels like it could strip away the defenses I’ve spent years perfecting. I know we don’t know each other well, but in that moment, it feels like he understands something about me I haven’t shared with anyone. "Thanks," I say, trying to play it cool even though my heart’s doing that weird fluttery thing again. "By the way, let me see your phone real quick."

I don’t know why I do it—maybe it's a brave part of me, or maybe I'm just tired of holding back. As Val hands me his phone, I quickly type in my number and send myself a text, feeling a surge of excitement and the thrill of taking a step closer to him. "There, now we don’t have to just rely on bar napkins and leftover receipts."

Handing him his phone back, our fingers connect, and a spark runs through me. There’s a moment where we just stand there, the city buzzing around us, but it feels like we’re in our own little bubble.

My heart beats faster, and I wonder if he feels it too—this strange pull between us. I could stay like this, basking in his attention, but I know better. I’ve got to keep my distance, at least for now. So I take a deep breath, forcing myself to break the connection, and back away, moving to my scooter.

"Well," I say, breaking the moment, "it’s been good to see you, Val, but I’ve got to get going. Don't want to be late to chemistry!"

Before he can respond, I hop back onto Buddy, giving him a playful salute. "Try to keep up!" I call out as I rev the engine and take off, weaving back into traffic with a honk of my horn.

In my rearview mirror, I catch a glimpse of him standing there, watching me disappear into the chaos of the city. There’s something satisfying about leaving him like that, a little bit impressed, a little bit mystified.

As I ride away, the thrill of the moment still buzzingthrough me, I can’t help but think about how complicated things have gotten—how I’m torn between the simplicity of keeping my distance and the undeniable pull I feel towards Val. Part of me craves the safety of staying in control, keeping things surface-level and predictable. But then there’s Val—a spark I can’t quite ignore—making me question if I’m ready to let someone see more of me than I usually show.

I like my Valerie, maybe more than I should.

The way he looks at me, it’s like he can see right through the walls I keep up, straight into the parts of me I’m too afraid to show anyone. It’s ridiculous, I know—we barely know each other beyond the surface. But sometimes, the way his eyes linger, it feels like he could understand me completely if I just let him. That thought scares me almost as much as it excites me. But with everything else going on in my life, from school to work to dealing with other things...Should have given him my number?

The city lights blur past me as I navigate through the traffic, the cool wind brushing against my face. I feel a strange sense of freedom, like I’m leaving everything behind—the stress, the confusion, the tangled emotions that come with my life. But, Val's face keeps coming back. His eyes, intense and unwavering, seem to hold a question I’m not ready to answer. His laugh, so genuine, lingers like a melody I can’t forget, pulling me out of my freedom and grounding me in something far more complicated. I can still feel the warmth of his fingers as they brushed against mine when I handed his phone back, that electric jolt that made me question everything I thought I knew about staying detached.

And then there’s everything else—school, work, the constant scramble to get to assignments finished and submitted on time, the unending worry about my mom, my family back home, myself. It’s all too much, always weighing on me. Butdamn, it’s getting harder and harder to resist the pull towards Val. The thrill of seeing him, of pushing his buttons, of seeing that look of surprise in his eyes when I do something unexpected—it’s becoming addictive.

I slow down as I approach a red light, my heart still pounding from the encounter. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and for a split second, I wonder if it’s Val already texting me. I pull over to the side and take it out—it’s just a reminder of something I want to forget. I let out a sigh, then tuck my phone away and focus back on the road, the light turning green.I’ll deal with you later…

For now, I have to keep my head straight. School deadlines creep closer every day, the hustle at work leaves little energy, and my mom’s situation tugs at my thoughts constantly. It’s all too much to juggle, and the weight of it sometimes feels like it might pull me under. But as I weave back into traffic, I know that my little game with Val isn’t something I’m ready to give up. Not yet. Maybe it’s reckless, but it’s also the first thing in a long time that’s made me feel truly alive.

I slip into the lecture hall just in time, spotting Rhea already seated with a coffee in her hand. She’s been here since six in the morning, as usual. As I drop into the seat next to her, she hands me another coffee and smirks.

"Finally made it, huh?" she teases, her tone light but pointed.

"Hey, traffic was brutal," I counter, flashing her a grin as I sip the coffee. The familiar warmth spreads through me, waking me up for the long lecture ahead.

“Told you, subway is faster than that dangerous bicycle you have.”

“Hey, say that next time you are taking Buddy out for a spin.”

Rhea smirks, knowing I’m right. My moped scooter is amazing.

Just as the professor starts speaking about I.C.E. tables and more stoichiometry, I notice the door opening again. Val steps in, ten minutes later than me and I was already late. He scans the room. A murmur ripples through the lecture hall as heads turn, a mixture of curiosity and annoyance filling the space.

The professor pauses mid-sentence, his expression briefly tightening before he resumes the lecture.

Val’s entrance seems to charge the atmosphere—his calm, assured demeanor contrasting sharply with the irritation of some students. When his dark eyes meet mine, it’s as if the buzz around us dims for a fleeting second. There are no seats left in the packed room, so he takes his place against the wall with the other late arrivals, leaning casually but with an air of focus that makes him stand out even more.

Rhea elbows me, raising an eyebrow. "That guy’s cute," she whispers, tilting her head toward Val.

"Shhh," I hiss back, trying to focus, but my thoughts are already drifting.

"Well, he keeps looking at you. Do you know him?" she pesters.

"Rhea, not now, I’m trying to pay attention."

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