Page 61 of Notes About Vodka

We settle back down on the sofa, our bodies entwined under the blanket. The movie is still playing, but neither of us is paying it any attention. Instead, we just hold each other, the silence between us filled with the quiet promise of what could be.

Val shifts slightly, pulling me even closer, his hands rubbing small circles on my back. The rhythmic movement lulls me, making me feel secure and comforted in a way I hadn’t thought possible.

I find myself talking again, opening up about the little things—my favorite childhood memories, the time my mom took me to the state fair, how I’d always wanted to ride a hot air balloon but never had the chance.

Val listens, really listens, his eyes never leaving mine.

He shares, too. Stories from his childhood in Russia, the summers spent at his grandmother’s dacha, his favorite Russian dishes that he promises to make for me one day. He talks about the feeling of home, what it means to him, and how he’s trying to build something like that here, in New York. As he speaks, I can hear the longing in his voice, the desire for belonging, and it mirrors my own.

The hours slip by unnoticed as we exchange pieces of our past, stitching together a new kind of closeness between us. There’s no rush, no pressure—just an easy flow of conversation, laughter, and the occasional kiss that feels like a promise.

Eventually, the movie ends, and the credits roll, but we remain where we are, wrapped up in each other. Val reaches for the remote, turning off the TV, and the room is cast in a soft darkness, only the glow from the city lights seeping in through the large windows.

As the silence deepens, I feel the weight of sleep tugging at my eyelids. Val shifts, adjusting the blanket around us, his hand finding mine, fingers interlacing. He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head, his voice barely a whisper. “Get some sleep, Laura. I’ve got you.”

I close my eyes, letting out a contented sigh. The rhythmic rise and fall of Val’s chest beneath me is like a lullaby, soothing me into a deep, dreamless sleep. For the first time in what feels like forever, I’m not worried about what tomorrow will bring. I’m not haunted by the past or terrified of the future. Here, with Val, I feel whole. I feel like maybe I’m allowed to be happy again.

As I drift off, I can’t help but smile, a sense of hope blooming within me.

Whatever comes next, I know I won’t have to face it alone.

That night, I dream…I think…

I feel soft, warm lips against mine. I respond, my lips moving with his.

We keep kissing, things getting more heated as I feel fingers gently pull on my nipples.

When did I lose my shirt?

I’m suddenly very aware of how close I’m lying against Val. It’s electric, thrilling—and then Val pulls back slightly, looking at me like he’s checking to make sure this is still okay.

I nod, breathless, grinning as I lean into him again, not wanting the moment to end.

We’re just enjoying each other, savoring each touch, each look. I feel his hands run up my back, settling me even closer as we both laugh between kisses as I wake up.

I place his hands on my breasts, pushing my hard nipples into his palms. He fingers them, pulling, twisting. I rub his hard cock through his jeans, really wishing I’d just get brave enough to let it out.

I’d really love a taste.

Especially when Val leaves my breasts to spread my thighs. I welcome his fingers as he dips into my pants, finding me very wet and ready. I enjoy his movements while I unzip his zipper. Finally, his lengthy, girthy, dick is free. Sticking up towards me, I stroke him gently. Rubbing the bit of precum from the head down the shaft.

I must be dreaming.

I want more, but I can’t… I’m not ready. I need to take my time with Val, make sure this is real and not just in my head.

But I can’t help myself as I lean down and lick. Pressing open mouth kisses up and down, I take his head into my mouth sucking hard.

I moan, lavishing the salty taste.

I’m in a haze when Val magically flips us to where I’m on my back. I open my mouth wide and he slides his thick dick into my throat. His cock may be my new favorite lollipop as he slides my pants off. I don’t think as I suck and his lips find my clit. Talk about 69’ing. He sucks my little nub hard, an orgasm crashing through me as I take Val deeper into my mouth. Heloses control and I love it. I’m lost in rapture as Val fucks my face while my come coats his lips, his tongue. He dives in for more and my thighs shake uncontrollably.

Sam didn’t let me give him a blow job. But this moment, with Val thrusting in and out, his breaths coming heavy as he frantically fingers me and licks my clit, makes me feel beautiful, wanted. I come again, squirting all over Val’s face. He erupts into my mouth and I drink. I suck until he is drained and I am satisfied.

When we finally calm down, Val hops up and rushes to his bathroom where he brings back two warm and wet washrags. Cleaning us both in silence, Val leaves once more to return with a large glass of water. Taking turns, we jug it down.

Eventually, we settle back against the couch, and I’m curled up in his arms, our breathing slowing down, the world outside silent and still. I’m thankful—grateful even—that he doesn’t push for more, just holds me as I nestle into his chest.

I close my eyes, letting the night linger around us, his hand tracing small circles on my back as we lay there, both lost in our thoughts.

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