Page 85 of Notes About Vodka

“Huh?” Val asks, his eyes still blown out in a post-orgasmic haze.

I kiss his parted lips. “I’ll see you after Thanksgiving. I promise. But I really need to get going.”

“After Thanksgiving, but why?”

My heartbreaks because I want to spend every moment with Val, yet there are still things I’m not ready to share with him. Like the rest of my family and life before NYC.

“Family drama Valerie, its just family drama.”

VAL

My head is still spinning from the life altering orgasm as Laura gets ready to leave. My ears are thundering from her moans.

After we finally make it out of my bed, I am surprised that she was ready to go back to her apartment.

“I’m going with my family to Thanksgiving dinner,” Laura explains. “My father, step-mother, step-sister, are all flying in tonight and staying at the apartment. Then, my cousin James comes into town via train to check in before going to stay with my mother for the rest of the week early in the morning. It’s important that I’m rested and ready for their drama... Plus,” she continues, “not sure if I want you to meet them, yet.”

She’s rambling and I’m not sure how to keep up. All I know is that I want her to stay but she’s already pulling on a pair of my sweats.

“Mind if I borrow these,” she points to my slides. “And maybe some socks so they fit.”

“You know, I can drive you back to your place. It’s not that far.”

“No, it’s fine. I want the entire New York experience. Looking like a subway bum is definitely on the bucket list.”

”Laura, are you okay?”

“Of course, or how do you say it, karenesho? I’m perfect. I just…” she comes over and grabs my biceps, “I just need a moment, okay. What we just did… That was tremendous and amazing. But now my brain is running a thousand miles an hour and I just need time to catch up. But I promise, I’m okay and I will call you as soon as I’m home.”

I nod. “Okay, I don’t feel okay with this, and I’ll miss you, but I get it. Enjoy your time with family, I guess.”

“Please don’t look so sad.”

I force myself to try to look understanding. “Okay. I get it already. Just go if you are going to go.”

But inside, I’m breaking apart. I don’t want her to leave. I want to be the one she turns to, that she calls for everything, the one she doesn’t leave behind when the night, or morning ends.And every time she goes, it just gets harder…. Especially now that I know how she feels. And she’s just…leaving.

It makes me feel… I don’t know. Like it meant nothing to her and was just sex. But for me, that was life altering because my soul just merged with its other half.

As I walk her out, she glances back, her gaze lingering. “Thank you, Val. For everything. Last night, this morning, meant a lot.”

I offer her a small smile, the frustration and disappointment swirling beneath. “Yeah. Anytime, Laura.”

She leaves, and I close the door, the empty apartment echoing with the silence she left behind. I lean against the wall, staring at the spot where she’d stood moments ago, wondering what the fuck just happened. I thought this with Laura would be easier but it’s proving to be a worse hangover than all the vodka in the world.

Chapter Twenty-Five

VAL

“Thankful for family, grateful for friends, blessed with vodka to survive them all.”

Two nights later, Thanksgiving arrives.

Pianissimois closed, missing out on business, but who the fuck cares when I’m alone.

Last night I was miserable behind the bar without Laura at work. She already took the entire week off for her birthday and apparently also for her family.

We have texted constantly since she left my condo, but I can’t get the uneasy feeling that even though Laura gave me her body, she’s still holding back her heart.

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