Page 109 of Tempt Me

I struggled to remember the conversations occurring around me. Strong hands were wrapped around my throat. His brother had me in his hands. He was…trying to kill me. But there was something off. I could feel him struggling. His grip tightened and loosened over and over.

“He begged Pharaoh,” I said, recanting my memory. “He asked him to kill him…to end it. He said he couldn’t stop it.”

Ezello gasped, and tears began running down her face.

“He killed Xenia, Ezello.” The words were rushing out of me so fast now that it hurt to speak. “Judas told him he had killed Xenia. He was going to kill me too, but then something stopped him…Then there was a loud boom.”

Ezello gasped.

“Pharaoh shot him. He fell…off the cliff.”

Ezello continued to cry as I spoke, but then she was silent for a long time. She was just staring at the wall with her hand on her mouth in a silent gasp.

“You have to let Pharaoh free,” I said.

“He killed Judas to save me…and to save Judas….from himself.”

Thirty Eight

Hope: Trust of resilience.

Is it worth it anymore?

I stared at the wall across from me. The images of Judas falling to his death replayed in my mind over and over. I couldn’t shut off my brain. Every time I closed my eyes, it just got worse.

Was it worth your pounds of silver, my brother?

Boom!

Judas. God, my own brother. It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense. Judas was always trapped in his mind, but that night, it felt like he was fighting to regain who he was. There were times I could see my brother. He was fighting to be in control of his own body, but then another person took over. Judas begged me to kill him so that Fallon would live.

He didn’t want to take someone else away from me.

Fallon hadn’t returned, so I tried to sit up in bed. My wrist was chafed from the cuff, but it was for the best. Goliath was only doing what any sane man would do. He found me on that cliff, crying my eyes out.

I told him that I had killed Judas.

I told him that he was gone.

Those images kept repeating over and over. I held my head with my free hand, trying to push out the memories, but they only grew in intensity until I was thrown back to that night.

Boom!

Judas flew back from the gun’s impact. The bullet clipped his side, but now he was about to fall over the edge.

I screamed, running to him.

He had tears running down his cheeks, but he looked at peace.

“No!” I said, trying to reach him.

“I love…you…my brother…. thank you.”

Before my eyes, Judas fell over the cliff’s edge. His smile was the last thing I saw, and that peace gave him an angelic look as he fell backward with his arms outstretched like an angel.

I smashed into the ground on my knees, reaching out for my brother. “No! Judes!”

He was gone.

---