“I know he doesn’t need you, Daddy, but…”
She sounded so far away already. These little moments with her were all I ever got. From the time she was taken from me to now…it was never enough time.
Tick-tock.
Shaking my head, I cleared my throat and made a stupid face. It worked. She smiled that warm, light half grin of hers.
“He may not need you now, Daddy,” she said again, holding my gaze. “But you need him. You need them both.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but her form was already fading, her little hand disappearing and leaving mine alone on the glass.
Her words clung to me like a second skin. I couldn’t be selfish and put anyone else in danger. I needed to get answers.
Dragging Fallon and her family into my fucked up world is a recipe for disaster.
I needed to speak with her. I needed to be a man and break the hold I had on her. She deserved to be free.
Collecting the courage given to me through my daughter’s spirit, I took a deep breath and pushed the door to the patient room open. Fallon saw me and put the baby down in the bassinet beside her.
I was a coward.
She didn’t speak. Her green eyes were heavy, she looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, and the light color to them was a muted haze of the original vibrant color. I was a short distance away from her and tried to maintain that space because I already wanted to hold her and make sure she was alright.
“Are you okay?” we said in unison.
I cleared my throat and gestured for her to speak.
“The last time I saw you with your cop friend,” she said, a sadness lingering in her tone. She was choosing her words carefully. “You were trapped in your mind again, weren’t you?”
I sighed. There was no getting past Fallon’s perception. I don’t know why I bothered trying.
“Uh…yeah. Quinn is a good guy. He took me back to his place to let me sleep it off.”
Fallon was trying to catch my gaze, but I kept looking around the room at the baby shit littering the walls, floors, and tables nearby.
“Where do you go, Pharaoh?” she said, taking a few steps toward me.
I swallowed hard and took a few steps back to keep the distance between us. She looked hurt but stopped moving. I didn’t know how to answer her, much less when her presence just made me want to mount her and claim every fucking inch of her body.
It was more than sex…I cared for her. I could feel the broken organ in my chest beating simply for her. I had been on autopilot for so long that I was surprised I could feel anything like…
“I see my daughter,” I admitted.
I let Fallon adjust to that statement, and I continued when she took a second to think. “I also see who I thought killed her. He taunts me. Reminds me of the failure I am.”
Fallon was silent, but she started to walk slowly toward me again. My eyesight was blurry, and I didn’t have the mental strength to push her away.
I backed myself into the wall and slid down the glass where Xenia had stood. I could feel the tears falling and knew how weak I looked, but I owed it to her to be my true self for once. To let down the mask.
“You aren’t a failure, Pharaoh,” she said, her voice calming. Though I couldn’t see her through my tears, I could hear her voice getting closer. “You did everything you could for that little girl. She is lucky to call you her dad.”
Oh, how beautiful her lies sound.
“You may be this big, strong giant, but you love with every fiber of your insanely tall being.”
I wiped my tears with my sleeve.
She could see how I loved her. She knew. Fuck me, she knew.