Page 124 of A Soul to Steal

How many times had Aleron chosen him when he hadn’t needed to? He’d even halted his rebirth in fear of leaving Gideon behind in Tenebris.

Shit. I said all those awful things to him yesterday.None of it was true or deserved!

The strength of Aleron’s body tightly secured Gideon’s smaller form to him, and he buried the side of his face against his saviour’s hard chest. That scent of hazelnut and cedarwood surrounded him as soft fur caressed his nose, cheek, and chin.

These things no longer filled him with angst, and instead helped to nurture him through his revelations.

Stillness enveloped them when Aleron’s feet touched the ground in the middle of a dense forest. The quiet was unnerving, and likely due to the Duskwalker’s presence silencing the animals, but he didn’t mind it. Instead, the song of Aleron’s breaths and heartbeat against his temple filled in that silence – at least, until he was placed on his own feet.

Pale-pink orbs turned blue as he stared down at Gideon. Both hands clenched into fists, but he wrangled a forefinger from his left hand to point at Gideon’s arm.

“You were attacked,” Aleron stated, and the cold, dejected tone of his voice cut deep. “This is why I did not want to leave you on your own.”

Ears burning, Gideon covered his bare arm. “It’s fine. I kicked their arses anyway.”

“I see, so you do not need me.” Somehow, his orbs darkened further, highlighting how much learning that filled him with sadness. Stepping back, retreating from him, Aleron lifted his skull in the direction behind Gideon. “If you go that way, there is a human town nearby. I am sure you want to be with your own kind, which is why I landed here.”

A cold crawl of dread tickled down Gideon’s spine.

Aleron stepped back, turned, then spread his wings in preparation to leap.

“H-hey, wait!” Gideon exclaimed as he bolted forward with his hand out.

Aleron evaded him and stepped to the side, nearly causing him to fall. He shoved his wing forward to catch him and then bounced him back to his feet.

“I want to talk,” Gideon quickly stated before Aleron could say or do anything.

The way Aleron nervously cupped his hands against his stomach, and how his wings tightened against his back, was like a twisting knife to his gut. He put more space between them, shaking his head.

“I do not know how to talk to you,” Aleron admitted, dipping his snout downwards and to the side to avoid looking upon him. “I am not human. I do not know what it is like to live as a human. Like you said, I am a monster.”

“Aleron...” Gideon rasped, wincing in sympathy, in regret and guilt.

“I want to heal you of your sorrow, but I do not understand what it is you need. All I know is that it is not...me.” His eyes bowed further at how much he could see the big guy was trembling. “You said you wanted me to leave you alone. As much as I do not want to do that, you refuse to come with me in search of Emerie, and I need to find her. Emerie is human; she can help you.”

Aleron’s wings slowly flared again, preparing to take flight once more. Just a few feet separated them, but suddenly it felt like they were miles apart.

“I’m sorry, Aleron,” Gideon stated firmly, staring at him fully in the hope he could see the sincerity of that statement – even if it didn’t appear as though Aleron was looking at him. “What I said yesterday... I shouldn’t have said any of it. You’re nota monster, and I’m really sorry for saying that. If I’m being completely honest, I’m also sorry for how I’ve acted since the moment I woke up here on Earth with you.”

His wings drew in to flatten against his back. “I do not understand. Why are you suddenly saying this?”

“I’ve been remembering things,” Gideon grumbled, rubbing the barely noticeable stubble on his face and cheek.

Even though he turned his head away, he noticed Aleron’s head lift. His voice was so full of hope as he said, “You have?”

“The problem is that it’s all out of context, none of it makes sense, and it’s often fragments. Sometimes it’s just a voice, or a sound, or just an image. They aren’t coming to me in a pattern.” He lowered his hand to stare at it. “Yesterday, I remembered Weldir saying he thought you’d need a bride to be brought back to life. That’s it, nothing else. Not what happened before or after it. In that moment, just like back then, I felt really betrayed by you, really hurt, and very used.”

“But that is not why I asked you to come–”

“I know.” Gideon lifted his gaze to meet his blue orbs. “After you left, Weldir came and forced his own memories into my conscience. From the moment he found us goofing off in your wings to when I held your hand as he gave you your new skull. He gave me context and made me realise just how... wrong I’ve been treating you. In the past week, you’ve shown more strength and intelligence than I was capable of.”

He stepped forward, but then hesitated to close the rest of the distance when Aleron recoiled. Gideon didn’t realise he’d started trembling as well until he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.And his damn chest hurt like it was full of gravel – heavy, grainy, and hard to breathe through.

He took in a steeling breath. As much as stating the next words would make him feel weak, he knew he needed to bear it. He needed to explain.

“I’m not okay, Aleron. I’ve known all along that I’m not okay. I was really angry, and sad, and I felt so hopeless that I considered just lying on the ground and letting the forest grow over me. I hated anything and everything around me, and I felt like the only thing giving me purpose was walking. The thing is... one of the reasons why I wanted you to leave me alone is because a part of me didn’t want to take it out on you. But you wouldn’t go, and it meant I kept hurting you even if I didn’t mean to. I needed time, I needed space, I needed to feel like I was in control of my own life.”

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