Page 125 of A Soul to Steal

His little whimper nearly broke Gideon. “But I am trying to give you space now. Like I said, there is a human town not far from here.”

A heavy sigh fell from him, and he lifted his hand so he could dig his fingers into his closed eyes.

“I’m not saying this to hurt you, Aleron.” He gritted his teeth, his jaw knots flexing, as he tried to hold back the dam of his emotions. “Fuck, man. I’m trying to apologise to you. I’m used to handling my problems on my own. I’m not used to leaning on people because half the time it just feels easier to smile, but I just can’t do that right now. I’m trying to say that none of this is your fault and I realise that now.”

“But it is my fault. If I had not brought you here...”

Why did Aleron saying that finally bring tears to his damn eyes?Does he regret it?The fact Gideon could push Aleron to such a thought, after the Duskwalker showed him unconditional support and affection in his own way, was deeply saddening.

“None of this is your fault, nor is it mine. Not even Weldir knew I was going to lose my memories of our time together. I can’t imagine what all this must have been like for you. Goingfrom me saying how much I care about you to suddenly turning into a stranger.” He removed his hand from his face so he could look at Aleron once more. “I should have said it from the beginning, but I’m really sorry that I don’t remember you.”

His blue orbs broke at the bottoms like glass, and ethereal tears floated around his bat skull. Even though it was heartbreaking, the beauty of this Duskwalker and his bony face, his horns, and even wings, was highlighted by those glowing, ethereal drops.

“I’m ready to try now,” Gideon continued. “Instead of fighting any memories that come, I’ll try to accept them, as well as you. I’ll go with you to find Ingram and Emerie. Wherever you want to go, we’ll go.”

“You want to come with me?” Aleron asked, palming his chest. “You want to be by my side?”

“Yeah, but I want to go to the human town first.” Just when Aleron’s wings began to rise, they drooped even further. “I need to buy new clothes, a weapon so I can protect myself, and maybe get a jacket if I can afford it.”

A chilly, light gust of wind wrapped around them, and his shivering only highlighted just how cold he was. Somehow, the silence between them seemed even icier.

“I did not want you to come to harm,” Aleron grated as he stepped closer, finally closing the gap between them. He danced his claws an inch from Gideon’s bare arm, not touching like he could see Aleron wished to. Red flared in his orbs, but at least his ethereal tears began to settle. “I wanted to protect you.”

“I don’t want you to protect me.” Gideon grabbed his arm at the reminder of the pain he’d been in. Yet, when Aleron shied away, he realised he’d said and done the wrong thing. “As much as last night was horrifying, I finally felt like I was strong. I died because of a Demon, and that has been bothering me. Every time you said you wanted to protect me and keep me safe, it made mefeel really small and weak. I don’t want to be protected, but... I also don’t want to fight on my own. I want things to feel balanced between us. I want us to be able to lean on each other, rather than me feeling like a feeble human that does nothing but weigh someone down. Even if my efforts are pointless, and you’re worried for me, let me feel like I’m your equal.” Then, forcing a small amount of humour, he stated, “So long as I’m holding an axe. Doing it with my bare hands kind of sucked.”

“I am sorry I made you feel this way,” Aleron said, dropping into a crouch, as though he wanted to appear smaller for Gideon’s sake.

With a groan, frustration bubbling, he slapped his hand over his face. “You’re not supposed to apologise to me when you’ve done nothing wrong. I know you didn’t mean to make me feel this way.”

Aleron stood and once more towered over him.He’s trying everything he can to make me comfortable.He absolutely wasn’t helping, but the Duskwalker’s goofy attempts were endearing against the swell of his guilt and shame.

“I do not know what you want me to say or do. Does this mean I should not tease your small stature?” He leaned his head to the side as he peered at Gideon and then obviously trailed his gaze down, as indicated by his skull’s movements. “I like calling you little human.”

Considering Gideon was just above average height for a human man, he found the notion of being teased for it odd. Usually it was the other way around.

He huffed out a singular, deadened laugh.

“If you stop picking on my height, I think I’ll kick you. If I tackle you, though, it’d be nice if you pretend I’m able to knock you to the ground.”

“That would be a lie, though.”

The corner of Gideon’s lips threatened to lift. “Yeah, but it’ll make my ego feel better. It’s pretty bruised right now.”

His heart, too, felt bruised, but it was at least lighter than it had been since he arrived on Earth.

He didn’t love Aleron, and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel that way towards a Duskwalker, but he hoped he could earn Aleron’s forgiveness in the future. That’s why he’d braved explaining how messed up his mind was, and how sorry he was about how he’d treated Aleron. He’d try to be better and more accepting.

He’d make an effort to at least see him as afriend,and not some spooky creature that kept following him like an ominous shadow.

Now that everything had settled, and he’d finally gotten much off his chest, he really was cold in his torn clothing. Time to get a move on, and quickly.

He grabbed the coin pouch tied to his trousers and noted how light it was. “While in the town, I can ask if anyone has heard anything about Emerie and Ingram. Maybe they’ve been spotted nearby.”

Just the mention of finding his kindred changed his nervous stance into something more focused.

Dark yellow swirled into his glowing orbs. “I did not think of that.”

“It’s not like you could have gone to a gate and knocked on it.”

---