Page 157 of A Soul to Steal

He let Aleron’s wrist go, stepped back, and ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance at himself. This was just one of the many things he thought about and didn’t have the bravery to bring up yet.All the things I did to him... said to him.

The way I made him feel.The way he made him... cry ethereal tears, silently as he followed behind Gideon, who also couldn’t contain his own tears.

“But it did not hurt me.” Aleron dipped his head as he lowered into a crouch, trying to make himself smaller. “Instead, I hurt your hand and it bled. I am–”

“Don’t you dare.” Gideon’s tone was dark as he narrowed his eyes into a tight glare. “Don’t you dare say sorry for something I did to myself. I’m glad that I busted my hand and not your face. I’ve considered it instant karma ever since I realised you were telling me the truth.”

Aleron cupped his damn hands to his chest, and Gideon wanted to explode. Even more so when he said, “I have upset you.”

I wish he’d just get angry with me, rather than be so nice all the time.Gideon could accept anger, since it would be deserved. He could accept being threatened or treated coarsely, as a reaction to his own mistreatment of Aleron.

But this? Where this Duskwalker, who was meant to be a terrifying, ferocious monster, appeared beaten down? How he seemed to recede into himself?

It was breaking him. And the deeper he felt towards Aleron, the fonder he became of him, the more ithurt.Gideon didn’t want to see this side of Aleron anymore.

How the hell do I fix this?

Gideon lifted his face to the sky, trying to pull strength from it, to seek an answer from it. If only some kind of deity would take pity on him and give him the answers he needed.

Gideon was still trying to heal himself, and he now had to heal all the damage he’d done along the way.

His eyes drifted to the corners of his lids so he could take in his soul, noting that it appeared fully flaming and full of life. Something had changed last night, enough to affect it, but he still felt altered within.

Sure, his chest no longer ached for the past and the people in it, but now it was heavy because of the person beside him.

He was wise enough to know thatmeantsomething.

Once Gideon managed to cool his anger, he let out a foggy sigh. He walked over to Aleron, and crouched down so that he was smaller than him – mimicking him. Then he placed a hand on top of his skull.

“I’m not angry with you. It may seem that way, but I’m not.”

“You humans are so complicated,” Aleron grumbled. He sounded annoyed, yet he pressed his skull upwards, so Gideon’s hand pressed more firmly on it. “You yell and shout, and then say you are not angry at the person. It makes little sense.”

“That is an absolutely fair statement, all things considered.” Gideon stared into his orbs, hoping Aleron could see his earnestness as well as hear it in his voice. “I don’t want you to apologise or feel bad for anything that has happened in the past. None of it is your fault. Very little of how I acted towards you was deserved, and I want you to understand that I am sorry for a lot of it. What happened to my hand means little compared to the action that caused it, and you proved how much you didn’t deserve me swinging one at you by this.”

Gideon carefully reached down and grabbed the wrist of Aleron’s injured hand to gesture to it.

“Yes, I am upset that you hurt yourself on my behalf, but I don’t care that you bent one of the rings. I know you will heal in a day, much like your wing, but I don’t want you tosuffer needlessly on my account, even if any injury or illness is temporary.”

Even if Gideon had to repeat himself in the future, or apologise a thousand times, he hoped one day Aleron believed him.

Gideon stood and reached to the side to grab his guitar once more. The tension between them was so thick it would have needed a saw to cut through it. Still, he tried to smooth his features, then offered a smile as Aleron picked him up and launched them into the air.

He would have liked to say he was nice and friendly for the remainder of the day, but he wasn’t always amicable. Rather, he stayed quiet while he thought deeply, reflecting on the recent past. Hugging the body of his guitar case, with the long neck of it between his knees, he tried to ignore the rings burning a hole in his conscience.

Gideon hoped they rolled out of his pocket, so he didn’t have to deal with them. He’d feel guilty if he were to toss them, considering what Aleron had gone through to get them. He could get away with ‘accidentally’ losing them.

Maybe I can sell them?The extra coin would be nice, even though he doubted he’d get much for them.

Thankfully, flying with any kind of speed made it difficult for them to have a conversation. The wind meant Aleron needed to shout for Gideon to hear him clearly, so they often travelled in silence.

One thing he knew with absolute certainty: he needed to better their relationship before they found Ingram and Emerie.

Things were going poorly, and he’d rather do this on his own. As much as he loved Emerie, missed her and wanted to see her, he didn’t think he’d be comfortable being as forward as he was likely about to be with Aleron in front of her.

Some things were easier than others.

When the sun went down once more, they set up camp. Gideon made Aleron promise he wouldn’t touch the fire before he lit one, which was needed because of the light snowfall.

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