Page 202 of A Soul to Steal

It’d been... easy, even though Aleron was so much bigger than him in every sense. Once he’d given Gideonallof his cock, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how much it felt like Aleron had beenmadefor him. Sure, it’d been painful at first, but once he adjusted, he’d been on fucking cloud nine.

Hell, he’d even passed out from extreme satisfaction.

Only to be plagued with the sweetest of dreams.

Memories of some of their time together. Most of it had been mundane and useless, but there had been a few that finallypieced together the puzzle of why he may have started growing fond of the big silly Duskwalker.

He’d held Aleron’s hand because Gideon had wanted him to stop being anxious of Gideon disappearing. He, himself, hadn’t wanted to fade to what the other Ghosts would turn into, living their happiest memories, but it also wouldn’t have really mattered to him in the end if he did.

He wouldn’t have remembered anyway.

But he’d known then that it had a different meaning to Aleron. After a little while, Gideon had begun to see it the same way as him.

He tried to hold my hand when we first came here.And he remembered ripping away from Aleron every time.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine how much that hurt Aleron. To go from constantly entwined in the most innocent sense, to being denied something so simple yet so reassuring.

Although this had been damning to learn, nothing could have prepared him for the chest burning he regretfully felt at a different memory.

“My heart is telling me to hold you,” Aleron had softly stated, embracing him with all of his being. “My wings are precious to me, but they ached to bring you into their close and protective hold. I have never felt this for anyone but my kindred. It means much to me to feel this for you.”

Shame trickled down his spine.

I stopped him from finding Ingram when they were close. I refused to hold his hand. I told him I didn’t want him. And...His jaw clenched until he thought he’d shatter his teeth.And I said I found his precious wings suffocating.

It hadn’t taken Gideon long to realise that Aleron frequently spoke with his wings. They sometimes nudged against him when they shouldn’t have. They twitched nervously or in excitement. Sometimes Gideon didn’t even need to look at Aleron’s orbcolour changes. Instead, he just needed to see how his wings were sitting – if they were tight or drooping, fluffed out or smooth.

His heart told him to hold me, so he put his wings around me. I can’t believe I rejected something so important to him.

Gideon understood why his own soul had given him the middle finger. Now that he’d come to know him, and feel deeply for him, he’d rather eat glass than hurt Aleron like this.

I wish I could go back in time.Gideon wanted to go back to when he first woke up on Earth... and shake himself to sense. To instil in himself all the memories he had now, from their time together in the living world.

“Has Reia ever hurt you deeply?” Gideon asked, his throat so clogged his voice croaked.

“Yes,” he slowly stated with a thoughtful hum. “But her actions helped destroy the Demon King. My hurt did not last long.”

Well, that didn’t help.

He drew his hand from his face and pushed his messy fringe back, so he could rest it against his forehead.

“I’ve hurt Aleron in ways I didn’t even understand until recently,” he admitted, hoping that maybe talking to a Duskwalker about one would help. “I don’t know how to make it up to him.”

I told him he could put his wings around me, and he still wouldn’t.Gideon could have begged and pleaded, tried to explain and excuse himself, but he hadn’t just rejected his wings – he’d punched Aleron repeatedly in the damn heart.

How the hell am I supposed to make up for everything?

“Hmm,” Orpheus mused. “Aleron’s humanity is low. You have to be direct, speak plainly, and be curt. It may hurt him to learn the truth of why, but it is better than being confused.”

“I’m scared that if I tell him why, it’ll only hurt him further.”

Orpheus waved a single hand forward. “Then show him.”

Gideon lifted his head towards Orpheus. “I’ve tried that. You even said you could...smellit.” He was too ashamed right then to even flush in embarrassment at that statement. “I’ve been trying to show him I do care, but it doesn’t seem to matter.”

Aleron refused to hold him the way he knew the big Duskwalker wanted to. He also never spoke of Gideon as his bride, or their future, or even their feelings when it was outside of anything sexually intimate. While they were in the thick of it, he couldn’t seem to contain himself, but outside of it... Aleron was reserved.

He acted nervously – skittish even.

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