Page 47 of A Soul to Steal

“Something I want?” he couldn’t help asking.

“I am different to you. You have already shown that you are hesitant and unsure of me. I wish to make you comfortable, so that you will feel the tenderness towards me as I do for you.”

Gideon didn’t quite understand.But I’ve been trying to make him comfortable!He thought he’d been welcoming and open-minded towards Aleron. Hell, he’d even jerked the guy off. What more could he do?

Before he could ask Aleron to divulge on what he’d just said, and the many things Gideon needed clarification on, he was taken to another Duskwalker. They had a rabbit skull with large antlers on top of their head, but he’d stopped paying attention. Even the three little featureless creatures next to it, sitting in a row, didn’t even draw Gideon’s gaze – although they did resemble the two blobby creatures he’d seen beside the other Duskwalker statues.

Instead, his eyes kept straying to Aleron.

He feels a tenderness towards me?What kind, though? Friendship, or more? What did he want?Is there any point to us having any kind of feelings towards each other in the afterlife?

As he pondered, Gideon was dragged to the back of this cavern’s chamber, which narrowed into another tunnel. Darkness surrounded them as Aleron led them down it.

Could... he be waiting on me instead?If so, he found that infuriating.

Then again, there had never been a situation since the forest that really allowed anything romantic or sexual to happen between them. Those scenarios often happened around food, or when two people laid down to sleep in a fond embrace.

Aleron kept pushing himself, going without sleep for what had to be many Earth days. Neither one had a desire to eat. In reality,besides each other’s company, the world was lifeless. The only warmth was shared during their light-hearted conversations, in which Gideon tried to teach Aleron everything he’d learned from the books he’d read, or what life was like for a human – which could often be a dreary subject.

Whenever Aleron shared about himself, it usually consisted of Demons who had been unkind to him, the other Duskwalkers who he had minimal contact with, and Ingram.

Ingram invaded Aleron’s thoughts constantly, and he often reminisced about his twin. The love and affection he had for his kindred was wrapped in humour, playfulness, and special embraces that touched Gideon deeply. However, those same things were imbued with the overshadowing sadness and loneliness residing deep within Aleron.

He tried to hide it.

Gideon had come to learn that Weldir helped him through the hardest and roughest part of his adjustment. He’d remained by his child’s side, never leaving him. He let Aleron take his pain out on him, no matter if it was sadness or rage, bearing the weight of it all while knowing there was little Weldir could do to change it.

It’d taken Aleron a while to realise this, but when he did, he started to trust him. He began to see the spirit of the void as a supportive place he could lay his skull, fears, and pain on.

It did mean that Gideon didn’t have to wear the brunt of it, and he didn’t know if he would have been able to. Not because he was unfeeling towards Aleron’s plight, but because they were facing the same problem.

He has been my rock here.

Even though Gideon hadn’t fully shared all of his longing for the life he’d left behind, Aleron had been by his side. Patiently, he let Gideon absorb... everything. He’d needed that more than anything.

He needed someone to just let him silently cry without asking him why he was upset. Gideon needed someone to be strong by leading him forward when there were times he just wanted to sit on the ground and dwell on every painful memory with his face buried against his knees.

Until Gideon had initiated it, he hadn’t realised he needed someone to squeeze his hand back in an almost comforting way. Even when Gideon’s grip would tighten because of the rage and hurt that tensed his entire being, Aleron shared a look with him, but never questioned it.

Aleron had been his rock, in a world where he felt hopelessly lost. Then Aleron allowed him to feel empowered by sometimes needing him in return.

Their frequent bouts of silence were heavy with loss and sadness from both sides, but never emanated loneliness. It wasn’t suffocating. Sometimes Gideon wondered if their palms touching was the only thing stopping him from turning cold like a real Ghost.

So, during all this, how were they supposed to physically get closer? Maybe it was stupid of Gideon, but he often thought moments should be special.

A first kiss. A first intimate touch. Even the first reveal of deeper, coy, and secretive feelings being shared... all these things should have a lead up. They should be a product of a perfect environment that spun out of control and heated him from within.

With Aleron, these things were difficult.

He had no lips to kiss, never mind the fact he was nearly a foot and a half taller than Gideon, so reaching him was difficult. Their first intimate touch had been more of an educational lesson that had spun out of control. And the sharing of deeper feelings was disjointed due to everything about this being confusing – for both of them.

He wasn’t even sure why he wanted to do these things with a monster, only that he did. And, little by little, Beau left his heart only for Aleron to take it over. He’d stopped seeing the big, burly man as his partner; instead, he had become a stranger.

That should be painful, but it didn’thurtanymore.

Gideon never thought he could be happy here in the afterlife, only tolerant. With Aleron, contentment and joy had taken over.

Did he potentially want to ruin that by making it complicated? The answer should have been no. This friendship should be enough. Instead, he found himself wanting to take things further. To see what could happen between them, where it may lead them, and what was truly possible.

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