“Soeverythingwas, essentially, a lie.” She was determined to hold back her tears this time, even if she sniffled and whimpered.
“In the beginning, yes,” he confirmed, and it felt like a claw strike right to her being.
“Everything you’ve done for me... taking me through Spiral Haven, to Fayren’s, what happened after you got back your magic... all of it was to trick me into feeling more for you so youcould make me some kind of tool? You even used my enjoyment of books against me.”
“No. None of that was intentional,” he said, his tone surprisingly gentle.
Confused, Zylah covered her bony face when she couldn’t hold back her tears. “What does that evenmean?”
“You are missing the parts where I saidinitiallyandin the beginning,” he answered. “My intentions changed quickly when I could see you didn’t want to cause harm to others. The feelings I wanted to manipulate were platonic. I’ve never been the kind of person to manipulate a female’saffectionfor my own gain. It becomes entangled with anguish too quickly. It’s also easier to manipulate someone when I feel nothing in return.”
“Then why did you do everything?!” she shouted, her orbs, and therefore her tears, flaring into crimson. “You are being needlessly confusing!”
“I’m answering your questions, that is all. Zylah, I began teaching you for two reasons: one was entirely selfish, and the other was as a way to make up for what I’ve done. If I could save one Mavka from my own actions, and ensure they live a better life, a part of me hoped that would assuage my own guilt, which, once again, was inherently selfish. I gave up both of those weeks ago.”
“Explain it to me in a way that is easier to understand, because right now, you are making mehateyou.”
Exasperated, Zylah lifted her skull and looked at him from the corner of her sight. As if he didn’t realise she was now looking upon him, she noticed his brows were narrowed, while his eyes were crinkled in what could only be sympathy.
Something became startlingly apparent.
“You are doing it on purpose. Youwantme to hate you.”
The expression was once more hidden by hisfalseindifference. “Hate is a much easier sorrow to bear. It kills one’s affection for someone swiftly and far less painfully.”
“It doesn’t feel any less painful!” she shrieked, her right hand curling into a fist. She wasn’t sure why, maybe to finally fucking hit him!
“This conversation will end only one way,” he said, tilting his head. “After today, I doubt you will want to be near me. The least I can do is share the worst about me to make that easier for you.”
“I want the truth!” she roared, baring her claws when she wanted to slash out at him and gouge out her heart at the same time. “All of it!”
Her ribcage felt so tight around her anxiety-filled lungs, squeezing against them from the inside. It was as if her entire torso was being strangled tighter and tighter until something would break or die within her. Every breath that escaped her was so sharp with pain, she was almost wheezing.
“The truth comes with consequences. Concealing them is what is best for you.”
“I don’tcarewhat’s best for me.Iam the one who gets to decide that. You don’t get to have a say!”
His features dropped into a small glare. “I do when it involves me.”
Zylah scoffed. “Coward. You are hiding for yourself. After this conversation, evenIcan see that.” What else was that but cowardness?
“You’re wrong,” he snapped back with a small growl.
Oh! She probed a sore spot. She guessed he didn’t like being called a coward, or at least someoneseeingpast his false exterior.
A small, spiteful laugh left her. “Am I? Because it doesn’t seem that way.”
Mimicking him from earlier and wanting to appear indifferent, Zylah folded her arms and lifted her head superiorly.
Honestly, she was one last push from telling him to just... leave. The only things stopping her were that there was more he was hiding, and she could tell that’s what he wanted. He was still here for a reason; he would have disappeared otherwise.
It felt as if Jabez was just waiting for Zylah to give up and push him away permanently. Like if he truly killed enough of her affection, she’d no longer want to be near him.
She wanted to be wrong, but the ache in her heart told her otherwise.
“I just... want to know what was real and what was a lie,” Zylah eventually stated with sorrow. “I feel like I at least deserve that.”
Zylah gasped and unfolded her arms when the stone groundcrackedbeneath his right foot, just as a charge of magic sparked in the air. When she brought her sight back up to his face, all she saw were screwed-up features and his ears darted back in rage. Eyes narrowed into a deep glare, his lips curled back to bare his fangs in a deep and vicious snarl.