Page 157 of A Soul to Embrace

Using his ability to teleport as leverage was the only way to ensure his safety. Kill him, then they’d be back to fighting with each other for completion. What he’d be offering was a real source of food, one which they hungered for deeply.

Unless they discovered his secret... then he’d befucked.

“What I’m trying to say...” he continued, a defeated and harsh expire falling from him, “is that it would be safer for you, so long as you agreed not to interfere. You would have to promise that you’d stay out of the way and just observe. You would never fight, never protect me, and just have faith that I can do this on my own, even if someone attacks me. If I gain enough loyalty, Ishould have others who would be willing to ensure my safety in order to protect the grand plan.”

Jabez was usually a good judge of character. He’d figure out those who were loyal enough to act as bodyguards, just like he had here. Before it was destroyed, those in his castle, even some lesser Demons, had believed in him so much they were willing to die for him.

“But if you were hurt...” she rasped, and Jabez brought his face back to her just in time to watch her clasp her hands to her stomach.

“You would do nothing,” he stated firmly, holding her gaze so she would see the unwavering resolve in him. “I don’t want you to heal me and bear my wounds for me, leaving yourself in pain. I can do that myself. If you even try to fight for my sake, or heal me, I will bring you right back to Earth and leave you here.”

A whimper escaped her, and she looked down at her lap. “But I’m strong enough to–”

“Zylah,” he warned, his voice deep as he narrowed a glare at her. “That is the only way I’ll agree to this. The only reason I would want you to enter into any fight is to protect yourself, to ensure yourownsafety. Should it come to that, I’ll try to take over for your sake and you will retreat to the side and let me handle it. If you fall into a rage, I can teleport you to places where I can calm you down without anyone being in the way of your destruction.”

“Why don’t you want me to fight? I just don’t understand.” Then she softly added, “I want to... help you.”

“Because I care about you! Isn’t thatobvious?!” he shouted, running his hands through his hair before throwing them forward. “It’s why I’m still here. It’s why I haven’t left already. It’s why I don’t wish to see you in pain that would be entirely my fault! I won’t ask someone I care about to fight in my stead, tobe a fucking tool for massacre while I stand back like a sadistic prick and watch.”

“But you’re asking me to watchyoube hurt!” She yanked her arm to the side, gesturing at nothing but the forest. “You said you wanted Merikh to do this. He’s a Mavka, so why would it be any different?”

“Because heenjoyskilling. He likes to rampage, he likes to fight, and he finds delight in destroying everything until he is the victor. He would threaten anything that looks at him funny to purposely taunt them into attacking him because he is a ruthless, hateful being who gets off on it and wouldlaughonce he’s done ripping them apart.”

He also had protective quills covering him, meaning the potential of injury was much less likely. He’d also make fun of Jabez for needing assistance, rather than coddle him in worry.

Zylah flinched in understanding and dipped her head. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he said plainly. “You, on the other hand, don’t like to hurt, and would likely feel guilty over anyone you harmed. I can see you trying to peacefully avoid a fight and leaving yourself open to attack. He’s experienced in battle, whereas you’re not. He would revel in the fight with me, and then we would have spoken about it with glee around a damn campfire. You and he are not the same.”

Zylah chittered, a sign she didn’t know what to say. She continued to shake, continued to whimper quietly, but at least her tears had finally ebbed.

“It will take a long time,” he admitted, softening his tone. “And I can’t promise anything more than what we currently have until I’ve finally taken over the city.”

“But you said... but if you become a Phantom, that would mean you can’t die.”

I’m not willing to tie myself to someone when I’m uncertain of my future.He also wouldn’t do it just to ensure he wasunkillable and could, over the course of forever, entertain this goal.

He was tired of his life as it currently was. If he couldn’t achieve his goal in his long lifespan, and it withered away into nothing but an unobtainable dream... then he doubted he’d ever be at peace. He’d give up, and a person who had completely lost their sense of self never lived the rest of their days well.

He’d likely grow depressed with nothing driving him forward. He could see himself checking out of reality, because he’d have nothing positive to reflect on. No happiness, no fond memories, nothing that would fuel him.

Tying himself to someone who would end up being a witness to his mental decay wasn’t a wound he wished to give. Especially as they’d always question why they were never enough to save him from himself. He wouldn’t trap someone without giving them the opportunity to have an out when he was so riddled with uncertainty.

That would be too cruel, even for him.

It was either this or nothing.

If he did achieve it, then he’d allow himself to bask in it. He could focus on other things while knowing everything he’d done had a reason.

He’d have his Eden, his peace, the life he’d always wanted. A home that was permanent, colourful, and filled with pleasantries in a magnificent city that was his to play in. The idea of sharing that with her... it warmed his chest and left him even more hopeful than he thought possible.

Especially as the Demons would welcome her, unlike the humans or Elves. She wouldn’t be an outcast – they were less likely to scorn someone just for the way they looked. She’d have a home where she was accepted, and after how she’d acted towards Fayren and those in Spiral Haven, he thought that might bring her joy.

She could become a librarian like the bookworm she was or a doctor like the healer she wanted to be, or something else entirely if she so chose it. She could feel like a real person, and not some bloodthirsty monster that was feared by all.

Thatwas a future he’d like to present to her.

He’d like to witness it.

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