Page 32 of A Soul to Embrace

His musings darkened. At every turn, he tried to delve deeper into the fog of his memories.

To why he was here, and how he got himself here. Not just in this cave with Zylah, but into this very realm.

A maelstrom of chaotic events shaped his life path. Many were his own fault, and most of those were shadowed by the fact that he couldn’t help it.

At a mere eleven years old, he’d been...suffering. He’d done many things he’d regretted then, and even now.

As much as his mother had tried to pamper him, the truth of his birthing was revealed to him at a young age. He was different, he’d always known he was different, and it was impossible to hide the truth. He’d been the only one with claws, fangs, horns, and red eyes. It hadn’t mattered that everything else about him appeared the same as his fellow Elysians.

He was part Demon.

The people had accepted him, but his mother couldn’t shelter him from their untrusting gazes. A select few had even looked upon him with disdain, as if he was an unwelcomed sight.

In the end, it was his fellow classmates who had broken him.

Jabez had been the only one of his kind. Not just within his school, but any school. In no corner of the city had anyone looked like him, acted like him, or shared his Demon traits. He’d been living as an outcast, even if his home had been warm and loving.

His eyes narrowed at the ceiling, both as a glare and a way to see deeper into the haze of a memory that had always been a blur. The day where he’d snapped.

A day he regretted, as it was what initiated the horrible life he’d thrust upon himself.

He’d killed an Elysian child, although he himself had been the same age. He’d never been able to forgive himself. No matter that it had been a bully who hated Jabez because he’d been born a half-Demon and looked and appeared different. No matter that the bully and his friends had tied him up by his horns at lunch while they attempted to rip out a few of Jabez’s newly growing fangs. The death had been undeserved.

He and them... they’d all been young, foolish.

Jabez had been dying on the inside.

Something had come over him when he bit at the child’s hand to defend himself and the taste of something delectable slipped down his throat. The bloodbath he’d carried out had been utterly forgotten in a traumatic episode. He only knew he’d done something wrong as he walked the halls covered in blood, unsure ofwhathe’d done, but he knew his stomach finally feltsatedfor the first time.

Everything else was a blur, but... he now distinctly remembered patting that little girl’s head as he cried into the cloud of her hair. How she’d wailed in his arms while hugging him tightly in return. How he’d hidden them so they couldn’t be found, afraid of what he’d done, and how much trouble he’d be in.

He refused to face that same regret all his life, which is why he’d saved that human girl in the village. It was why he never allowed his Demon army to feed off the truly innocent under his watchful gaze, even if he helped to break down the walls of a village.

Lifting a single hand, he stared at the lines on his palm, unable to hide from his own claw-like nails tipping his fingers. The pathway of his life had been smothered in the blood of many, and he’d tried, with all his might, to prevent it despite constantly failing.

The dream of a petulant teenager.Oh, how those fateful events forced him into a life he’d much rather have not led.

A life he kept needing to dig deeper into for self-preservation. He yearned for the day he could finally let go of it by ending this war which had never met a battlefield. He’d much rather have fought against the Elvish people who’d turned their backs on the very creature they sought to create – especially as they were the reason for his existence.

But even then... his heart had long been giving up in this endeavour. The opposing pieces of his playing board had been stuck in another realm, and he was unable to gouge his claws into their throats. Each year he’d grown, he’d become more spiteful, until one day... he’d fully matured. In that maturity, having governed thousands of Demons who were their own beings, he understood that controlling a large group of individuals was truly impossible.

He long ago learned that what his past entailed wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the mistakes of a few young boys. Moreover, the Elvish government wasn’t entirely at fault, even when, through fear, it had condemned him to be buried beneath the ground in a prison.

A fear he now fully comprehended. A fear that lingered in his shadow; it was always with him. It’d been in every corner of his castle, between every stone gap, and within each of his breaths.

A fear he’d been controlling, so it didn’t tear into him and swallow him alive.

His hand finally fell to rest against his abdomen, and once more, he stared up at the cave’s ceiling.

What a pointless endeavour,he thought, as he let his gaze slip to the sleeping creature beside him.Well, perhaps not.

Zylah’s lessons had gone exceedingly well over the past nearly two months since he’d met her. She was quick to pick up reading and writing over the last few weeks since they’d settled in thiscave. Now that she was able to read mostly on her own, he’d obtained a few books that were more advanced.

She was currently able to have somewhat proper conversations and utilised the dictionary he’d acquired on her own. His lips cracked a grin at the numerous times he’d seen her reading the dictionary without his direction. When she read the novels, she would occasionally bend the book to him, point to a sentence, and ask him to explain a word she couldn’t understand the definition of.

Jabez tried his best to explain, even when the concept was complex. He often sat quietly by her side and watched in case she needed assistance. It allowed him to recede peacefully into his thoughts like he had for most of his life.

Before long, she’d no longer need his assistance. Which meant he’d soon be able to proposition her.