Page 79 of A Soul to Embrace

“No,” he lied. “Because she is so soft-hearted, I just don’t see it working. But I need someone strong, fast, and quick of healing to cross that ward with me, and no Demon can cross it. I doubt Weldir would block his children or their descendants from going through it. Why should he?”

He realised he should have tested it with Merikh, but he just hadn’t thought of it at the time.

“Have you considered asking her for help? With how highly she spoke of you, I think she might follow you anywhere.”

Jabez grimaced at what that could possibly mean.

“That would present me with two choices. I can reveal the truth to her and hope she doesn’t grow to hate me for what I have done. Or I can hide the truth and essentially manipulate a female’s feelings for me into leading her to bloodshed.” He dipped his head towards her and cocked a brow. “Which one makes me less of a villain?”

She opened her mouth and then promptly shut it. Her lips thinned in deep contemplation before pulling to one side.

“Well, when you put it that way... No, I don’t think you should do the second option. She’s very sweet, and just spending a few hours with her made me want to bring her into my arms for a hug.” Then, to break the tension once more, she gave a smalllaugh, causing the wrinkles around her eyes to crease deeper. “She’s quite the creature if she’s managed to make you think with a true conscience.”

“She is... spectacular. She’s so damn smart that she’s able to calculate and assess situations on her own. In comparison to the rest of her species, she’s pretty special in that way. All I did was feed her a small number of humans, and she has repeatedly exceeded my expectations.”

“Sounds like you admire her?” Her question was dripping in coyness.

“How can you not?” he returned, throwing his hands forward. “Had I known, it would have been easier to feed her fewer humans and use her lacking intelligence to convince her.”

He probably also wouldn’t be attracted to her femineity at all had he done that, which is what hereallymeant. Now she had all these interesting facets to her, while being intelligent and mature, and he found her company pleasant. Helikedteaching her because she was interested in learning, and it made doing that with her...fun.

He’d even begun teaching her shit she didn’t really need to know, like what the different stars were and how she could use them to map her way around Austrális. Utterly pointless in aiding her life, but interesting to know – while allowing him to spend more time interacting with her without her realising it was because hewantedto, and not because heneededto.

“She’s now so mentally advanced that she’s developing her own personality outside of my control,” he continued. “She can already see right from wrong, and her morals are much more benevolent than mine. I doubt any persuading on my part will change them.”

“Will you just admit you obviously feel something for her? You’ve given it away multiple times from the first moment you brought her to my home.”

He folded his arms defiantly. “I won’t admit to something that doesn’t exist.”

He could admire someone without wanting them. Jabez actually hated a lot of people he admired.

“If that was true, you wouldn’t have brought her here,” she repeated from earlier in a sing-song voice. She kicked her legs back and forth like a cheeky, meddling woman. “I’ve seen many men deny their feelings, and it never bodes well.”

“Why the fuck are we having this damn conversation?” He waved her off while turning his head away. “I shouldn’t have started talking to you. You always manage to make me speak of things best left unsaid.”

He couldn’t believe he’d vented so freely to her! The back of his neck heated in embarrassment, and he suddenly regretted bringing up the matter.

“But–”

“Why does this matter to you? What does this achieve? Why are you trying to push this?”

“Because I want to see you happy,” Fayren said, her features crinkling into sorrow – on his damn behalf. “In all my years, I don’t think I’ve ever truly seen you enjoy life.” She shrugged a single shoulder. “Sure, I’ve seen you laugh, but it is only ever in the moment. You always look so pensive and stoic. How many more years will you suffer alone?”

Jabez rolled his eyes at that. “This is the life I was given, much of it deserved. I have no desire for a female of any kind. I have no desire to breed offspring. All I want is to live peacefully, but I must shed Elven blood in order to do so.”

“Why could you never be happy withthislife then? If you just gave up your war...”

“Because I want to laugh in the pool of the blood of my enemies,” he said with an added dramatic, eccentric flare. “I want to sit on their corpses, knowing I ended them after whatthey did to me, to the others, to those who are stuck here. The Elves are vile, and their pretentiousness irks me. Their fanciful city is an eyesore upon the worlds.”

“But what if you’re missing out on an opportunity for happiness by continuing to feel this way? How is your blind hatred for the Elvish no better than Katerina’s for the Mavka?”

He didn’t like how closely that hit to the truth. “Because at least the Elvish would deserve it.”

Her ears darted back, and she bit her bottom lip. “You truly are a cold person. It’s like there isn’t any love left in your heart.”

“There isn’t.” With his icy confirmation, his eyes lowered in callous indifference. “That was taken from me at a mere eleven years old.”

She turned a beseeching face to him. “Even us Demons find love and happiness where we can, Jabez.”

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