“I don’t need either of those.”
“I think you should reconsider that,” she stated, lifting her nose to snub him and his lack of feelings. However, her eyes then gleamed with a cheeky, pestering light. “Say you were, hypothetically, to keep a female. What kind would she be?”
He pulled his lips back in an appalled grimace. “The fuck kind of question is that?”
“Oh, just humour me.”
“I don’t think I particularly want to,” he sneered.
She flapped her hand up and down dismissively. “What would you seek in a female?”
“One that doesn’t exist?” he answered, and her look of annoyance only made him grin with humour. “Oh,fine.”
He cupped his jaw as he pondered what would truly please him. The list was exceptionally empty, as he’d never thought about it before.
“I guess... someone smart enough to be self-assessing. Someone who wouldn’t be a threat or make me sleep with oneeye open in worry they would try to tear my throat out.Thathas happened one too many times.”
His words began to die off when he noticed Fayren counting with her fingers each time he said something. He raised a brow, but she cast him a dull glance to continue.
“I don’t know. Someone sensual, beautiful, and cute?” He noted that she only extended two fingers, but he ignored it as his gaze narrowed at the garden. “I think... I’d like someone with a tail, oddly enough.”
She put another finger forward, and what she was doing became blatantly obvious. It also irked him, and he reached across to unbend the finger she’d refused to extend before.
“What are you...?”
“I don’t know which word it was you lack the eye to see, but she has all of those qualities.”
Her lips curled up in cunning humour. “Okay, what else?”
Jabez tried to think of what else would please him, but he truly had little idea. Yet one word kept ringing in his mind, loud, and yet so heavy he worried it just wouldn’t be possible.
“Someone loyal,” he muttered quietly. Not in body, but in mind.
Someone who would choose him over themselves. He was done with being used and having to watch his back aroundeveryonehe came into contact with. He was tired of those around him trying to manipulate him into getting their way, whether it be with tears, sex, guilt-tripping, or giving him offerings just to gain his favour.
What he wanted was to trust someone beyond himself. And not a single person had given him that – not Katerina, not Merikh, and not even Fayren. He was too wary of their possible ulterior motives.
People wanted and wanted, and he didn’t often give any more when he saw it just led to those around him abusing whateverremaining generosity he had. Being a king meant he constantly had people asking him for shit, buthehad no one to ask for help, no one to lean on.
He’d been alone from the moment he stepped into this horrible realm.
Sure, he had an army, but only because their goal had been the same as his: going the fuck home. They feared him because he made sure everyone knew he was impenetrable, cold, cruel, and heartless just so they wouldn’t evenconsiderturning on him. Yet so many had done it anyway.
He wanted someone to want his rotten heart. Not because it meant they had power over him, but because it gave him power over them, and they trusted he wouldn’t abuse that.Then again, everyone thinks I’m evil enough to do just that.So why should he offer his non-existent heart to anyone when they all thought so lowly of him?
Realising he’d gone quiet, and likely made his last statement weigh heavier than he wanted it to appear, he forced a chuckle.
“Someone tall?” he asked, feigning humour. “I must admit, I like the idea of being able to throw them around and I can’t do that with most humans or Demons. You’re all so fucking short that I’m looking at the tops of your heads.”
Her smile grew as she lifted another finger. “Zylah is tall. I even think she’s taller than you, Jabez.”
“I’m done with speaking to you,” Jabez grumbled as he hopped down from his seat. “Dawn is coming, and I’m going to go find a tree to sleep in.”
Had she just kept her fucking mouth shut and not said the Mavka’s name, Jabez would have continued to play her stupid game.
“Then what am I supposed to do?” she called out as he stalked off.
“I don’t know, perhaps go tend to Zylah? She may have questions,” he answered, waving his hand in the direction of the cottage.