Page 125 of To Trap a Soul

“Too much?” he asked, just as the pressure let up and she whimpered again in agony. “I’m sorry, Lindiwe. I am... struggling to make myself the right size for you by only what I can see.”

By what he can see?That didn’t make any sense.

Tears welled in her eyes and her lips trembled, even when magic glowed around them and he healed her. She tried to give him a smile in gratitude, thankful the pain was quick, but her arousal had been ripped from her and trepidation replaced it.

I’d rather take too small than too big any day,she thought, as her legs relaxed around the physical parts of his narrow hips.

She thought anyone would feel that way. She’d rather his tiny tendril than to feel that burning, sharp pain again. Especially when a droplet of red floated up near her face, and she knew for certain that he’d torn her enough to bleed.

His voice was low and quiet as he asked, “Should I stop?”

Although thankful he’d asked her consent, Lindi shook her head.

“N-no. I’m okay now that you’ve healed me,” she answered in a croaked voice.

To test their fit, she wiggled her hips side to side, finding she was much fuller now, and that it was comfortable. Actually, it was kind of nice, just stretching her enough so she could feel it.

She’d lost some of her confidence in him, but a few hiccups along the way were fine. Things didn’t have to go perfectly their first time, so long as there was pleasure by the end.

Apparently if he moves just right, it will feel good.

Except, the moment he pulled back and quickly thrust forward, Lindi drew her knees up with a sharp gasp. She resisted the urge to recoil, hoping it was temporary, but each time he slammed in, flashes of white-hot pain sparked across her visionand through her very being. She felt it all the way down to her soul, which she didn’t even own anymore.

After the third time, Lindi let out a cry.

“Stop.” She shook her head with her nails clawing into her chest, knowing there was no point in grabbing him when she’d likely touch nothingness. “No more.”

“Too hard? I can go softer.”

Lindi grimaced and shook her head, not daring to look upon his face so she didn’t have to see his expression – nor him see hers. She was thankful when her curls waved around her face and partially obscured it, wishing they’d cushion around her body as well, like a soft shield.

The next words that fell from her tasted meek and weak-hearted. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

She’d completely lost her desire for the act and just wanted it all to cease.

And she felt awful about that to the point tears gathered once more, this time from the sting that was still present between her thighs, but also the one against her heart. She knew it wasn’t his fault, that he wasn’t doing this on purpose, but she’d built up so much anticipation for this and it was... ruined. It just felt awful to be repeatedly hurt, even by accident.

All at once, everything relented.

The pain faded, as did the pressure of him inside her, all in a puff of smoke. He didn’t withdraw, just vanished entirely.

Lindi let out a sob when she realised he’d vacated the area completely, and he only ever did that when he was upset. Did she hurt his feelings, no matter how lightly he felt them? Was he as mortified and embarrassed as she was?

With regret roiling around in her stomach, she turned physical. She reached for her undergarments and trousers and put them back on, wishing to be clothed again and pretend all this never happened. Then she grasped the floating handle of hersatchel and yanked on it to draw it to her chest and hug it. She felt so awful for him, and depressed for herself, that she pressed her face against its leather and cried with shuddering breaths.

I want to go home,she thought, despite not having a home. What she really wanted was just a safe and comfortable place to digest this horrible moment in private.

To swallow the hard lump of loss and cuddle herself, since no one else would do it.

Despite everything, she still felt a familiar trickle leaking from her. For once, she was thankful for it, as she hoped it meant she wouldn’t have to see or speak to him again for a while.

She thought she’d rather die in that moment.

“Do you want to stay or leave?” he asked, despite not actually being here.

“Leave,” she whimpered.

She was gone within her nextfalsebreath.

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