Page 27 of All Summer Long

‘He’s a filthy bugger!’ Rambo yelled like an abusive cockerel, and Alice closed her eyes for a second.

‘Nothing to do with our Robster this time,’ Stewie said. ‘Although how is the old dog? Might call over there when we’re done and see if he fancies a flutter on the gee-gees. Needs to get out a bit, that boy.’

Alice wasn’t sure that Robinson would appreciate the offer but kept her own counsel. Who was she to know what would or wouldn’t please him?

‘We want to help,’ Hazel said, mysteriously.

‘I can paint,’ Stewie chimed in, holding up his paintbrush. He held it in a way that suggested he’d never painted anything in his life.

Alice looked towards Niamh urgently, asking her to help her understand what was going on.

‘I told them,’ Niamh said, her pretty face pensive. ‘It affects us all, Alice. You own the cottages and we want it to stay that way. What you’re looking at here is your work force.’

Alice couldn’t help but wonder if Niamh had lost her mind as she looked around the little gathering.

‘And there’s Ewan too, if he ever gets out of his bed, that is,’ Hazel added darkly.

They all looked up expectantly at Rambo, who took supercilious pleasure in remaining silent.

‘I’d never even heard of this glamping until Niamh explained it this morning,’ Stewie said. ‘Marvellous idea. Don’t come knocking when the caravan’s rocking, eh?’

Alice flinched and swallowed a mouthful of coffee. ‘When did you even get time to talk about this?’ She was looking at Niamh again.

‘Six a.m. crisis meeting, darling,’ Stewie said, tapping the side of his nose.

‘I’d just popped into the garden to channel the transitional energy between night and day when Niamh called over the fence,’ Hazel explained, nodding sagely.

‘And there I was, doing the walk of shame after a reunion night with some old colleagues.’ Stewie really was an old rogue. Alice didn’t even want to think about what might have happened at a reunion night for ex porn stars.

‘Filthy buggers!’ cackled Rambo, on cue.

‘Quite right too, Rambo old son,’ Stewie agreed with a twinkle in his eye, not at all insulted. ‘My knees are shot this morning.’

Niamh cleared her throat to disguise her laughter. ‘Right then. Where shall we start?’

Alice glanced around them all in their various states of undress. ‘Do you think it might be a good idea if we all get dressed first?’

Stewie pulled himself up out of the chair. ‘Good idea, troops. On your feet and quick march back to the cottages.’

Niamh hung back until the others were out of earshot. ‘I know you probably think this is crazy, Alice, and it sort of is, but the point is that we want to show you how much we care about you and won’t let you go down without the mother of all fights, okay? This manor is yours, and it’s staying that way. You’re not on your own in this.’ Niamh squeezed Alice’s shoulders. ‘I’m going home now to have breakfast and put some work clothes on, and you should go inside and do the same. You just became general of the oddest freakin’ army ever.’

By lunchtime the ‘army’ had all been hard at work in their designated roles for a couple of hours; Hazel had decided to spend the day walking the site to decide where to position any future accommodation in order to maximise on chi. So far Alice had found her with all four limbs wrapped around the old oak at the far end of the woods and sitting cross-legged on the deck of the boathouse with her eyes closed communing with the spirits of the lake. Even Ewan had rolled up mid-morning and taken up the task of gathering and chopping wood with Stewie, to use for both the tree house renovation and other projects as they got going.

Alice and Niamh worked in the tree house, laying flat on their bellies on the deck with a large paper plan of the land in front of them and the file containing all of the information and paperwork Alice had collected so far.

‘Will you need a licence to operate something like this?’ Niamh said, writing it down on her to-do list.

’It’s already being sorted by my solicitor,’ Alice said. She didn’t pretend to understand the ins and outs of the law and was only glad to be able to hand it to someone who did.

‘Loos?’ Niamh pulled a face as she said it.

‘Compost ones.’ Alice said, having looked into the matter a day or two back. ‘You can have them delivered and installed in little huts.’

‘And what about Robinson? Have you told him what’s happening?’

Alice’s pained expression told Niamh more than she could have in words.

‘Alice, you have to! If you’re seriously hoping to have the first two units ready to rent within eight weeks it’s going to affect him more than anyone else.’

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