Page 49 of The Hang Up

“I threw that blanket out.”

Right. Mom was right there. What were we doing? And then my mind caught up with her words. “You threw my blankie away? I thought it was lost.” God. I sounded like a four-year-old.

“It was tattered. And I was afraid you’d take it to college with you.”

“I needed it…” But it didn’t matter now.Stop talking, Brock.

“You needed to grow up. Life is hard. And Sean wasn’t going to be there to save you.”

“Most of the time, I was the one saving him.”

“And now he’s moving on, and you can’t hide from it. What are you going to do, Manny?”

The use of my childhood nickname had my throat closing with emotion. I shook my head, but was it because of her question? Or the answer I didn’t have?

“What about you?”

Joshua straightened in his chair. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“You’ve always seemed like a type-A personality to me. Like you plan everything. I mean, you founded a company and ran it for years.”

“I wasn’t. I’m driven, but Victoria was the planner. She had our whole life planned out.” Joshua didn’t hide the bitterness in his words. “But I learned to be a planner. I had to if I wanted to succeed.”

“Brock is a planner. Except when his emotions are involved. Then he hides under his blanket.”

“Jesus, Mom!”

“This is still my house, Manny. Watch your mouth.”

“Sorry,” I said. “But seriously, Mom.”

She ignored me. “Or he rushes forward. I’m wondering, Joshua. Are you a Spiderman blanket?”

When I started to say something, she held up her hand, her eyes still on Joshua.

“Is that question really for me?” Joshua asked. “Because”—he glanced over at me and took a deep breath—“Brock isn’t the one hiding.”

“I think you’re both hiding. And I get it. Brock, you’ve always liked him, and he’s attractive. Not sure what your angle is, Joshua—”

“Brock is smart, talented, kind, beautiful—”

“And young,” she said. “Don’t forget that.”

“Mom, stop.” I jumped up, glaring at her. My hands clenched. “Why are you being so awful?”

She tilted her head and studied me. There was no anger in her face, only sadness. “This is just a taste of what it will be like. People will say worse things. So you need to decide if you can take it. Is this real? Or just another way for you both to hide?”

“You could have talked to me alone, Mom.”

“It wasn’t just for you.”

“I can’t believe you. I don’t care about those other people. You’re my mom.” My body was shaking with rage. I dashed at the tears on my face. “I’m so angry with you right now.”

She stood. “I know. And I’m sorry I threw away your Spiderman blanket. But, Manny,”—she gently touched my face—“you were never going to do it. Sometimes, baby, you just need to let go. Even if it hurts.”

* * *

I threw myself into school.Focusing on my classes and squaring away everything for my capstone. I ignored the questioning looks from Sean as if he thought I was going to self-combust at any moment. Joshua and I went on as normal, at least on the surface. But there was something there. An unease. This feeling like I couldn’t catch my breath. Something was simmering below the surface, and it was going to boil over. At times, I pulled away. Turning down the heat always worked in cooking. But I could stay away, and then Joshua would kiss me. Or touch me. Or call me sweetheart. And I was lost again.

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