Page 58 of The Hang Up

I wanted to tell him. Fuck, I almost did. But what if he hated me? If we lost our connection? And it wasn’t just my decision. Brock didn’t want to hide anymore. But that didn’t mean he was willing to tell everyone. One was theoretical. The other was real. “Sean, I’m fine. It’s fine.”

He leaned back and crossed his arms. “I’m not angry anymore, but I haven’t completely forgiven you. I can’t get my missed childhood back.”

“Sean, I’m—”

“Nope. My turn to talk, Dad.”

I put my hands down and waited for whatever he had to say. He was talking to me again, and that was all that mattered.

“I blamed you for everything, and that wasn’t fair. You took care of us in other ways. Hearing Ben talk about the chance he didn’t get with his dad—he told me you thanked him.”

“Oh—yeah—I—” I shrugged, not having a clue what to say.

“I just wanted you to know I’m trying. I talked to Cassie, and she told me what happened with Mom. I’m sorry you got all the blame.”

“I deserved it.”

“Not true. You could have done better. No doubt. My point is I want you to be happy.” The sounds from the party filtered through. Music. Laughing. The squealing of kids as they raced down the hall. “Tell me about this woman.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about Brock. And I didn’t want to lie to him.

“What’s the problem?”

“We…” Fuck this was hard. I took a deep breath, the familiar scent of leather and books reassuring. “We can’t be together. Not really.”

“Jesus, Dad. This is your life. No one else’s. When I realized how self-sacrificing you’ve been…I wanted to smack you upside the head. And hug you too. But mostly smack some sense into you. You deserve to be happy. And if this woman isn’t willing to be with you publicly…then maybe you need to end it.”

“I’m the holdout.”

“Of course you are. Just…think about it, okay? I’ll support you, whatever you decide.”

As we reached the door to leave, I gathered my courage and pulled him into a hug. “I love you, Sean.”

“Same, Dad.”

We rejoined the party, and his words stuck with me. They weren’t true. Because no matter what he said, there was no way Sean would support me being with Brock.

CHAPTER14

Brock

Kissing Joshua had grounded me.I wanted any connection I could get with him. Reassurance that he wasn’t going to get tired of me. There were way too many couples at this party. Even Matthew and Roan seemed like a couple. There were plenty of people who weren’t, but telling myself that over and over did no good. I hated hiding how I felt about Joshua. And my roommate only made it worse.

“Dude, these stuffed mushrooms are kickass.” I watched with disgust as Sean shoved several in his mouth. The food was set out buffet style in the dining room. And Sean was making his way through for the hundredth time.

“Really, Sean?”

He grinned and wiped his mouth with his napkin. At least he had a napkin. “I just talked to my dad. I hate that he is all alone.”

Taking a sip of my wine, I tried to keep my voice even. “You never cared before.”

His response was a shrug and a sheepish smile. “It’s all Ben. He makes me happy. And I want everybody to be happy. Including you,” he said, knocking into me. I lifted my glass to keep it from spilling.

“I’m happy. So happy.”

“Sometimes I think you are. Other times, like today, you seem sad. Is it because your guy isn’t here?”

“I think you need to lay off the beer, dude.” I studied the floor, not wanting him to see the truth in my eyes. “So, what did you tell your dad?”

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