Page 8 of The Hang Up

“The way he was looking at you. His body language. All of that says he’s interested.”

“Okay, yes. He was interested, but…” How did I say this without totally humiliating myself? I already felt the heat rising on my face. “That was before he knew it was me. When I turned around…” I couldn’t say it. The words were stuck in my throat.

She smacked my arm playfully. “Of course, he was interested. You bent over and showed him that cute little butt of yours.”

“Stop talking about my butt.”

“You’re such a prude. So you turn around, hot Daddy sees who you are, and boom. No longer interested. Is that what you’re telling me?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Maybe?”

Nevaeh slammed her hands on the table, startling me. “All right, listen up. You’re holding something back, and I need you to spill it already. I mean, yeah, I want to drink, but I also want to get back to my wifey sometime tonight, so can we get a move on with this—”

“Intervention? Interrogation?”

“Either fits. You pick one.”

“Fine. You want to know what the issue is? He’s trying to connect with his son, who doesn’t want anything to do with him. That’s why he’s eager to talk to me.”

“Babe, I love you. But you’re a fucking idiot.” She sat back and sipped on her beer. “I think we should take bets.”

“On what?”

“I’m betting this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Sean’s hot Daddy.”

“Kill me now,” I said, putting my head on my arms.

But I should have taken that bet. Nevaeh turned out to be uncharacteristically wrong. Joshua didn’t return. I know because I checked. Every damn night. After a few weeks, I gave up, feeling like an idiot.

How many times was I going to let Joshua Miller break my heart?

CHAPTER3

Joshua

Runninginto Brock wearing his chef’s outfit and looking gorgeous, happy, and,fuck, so confident had jolted something loose. I’d never seen him like that. Where was that shy boy who could barely look at me? And who was this sexy man he’d grown into?

I’d never thought of myself as gay or bi. I’d noticed men. But nothing like this. Instantly hard at the sight of those broad shoulders and that ass.Fuck.

But that wasn’t the reason I returned to Shultie’s weeks later. Brock was probably confused and hurt. I needed to apologize to him. And not just for staring at his ass. The way I’d acted before…

The truth was I couldn’t stop thinking about him. At first, I’d started working longer hours with Mitch just so I didn’t have to think. Mitch pointed out this was the exact same behavior that got me in trouble last time. He also mentioned that his boyfriend Todd was complaining about me being a terrible boss.

I ended up spending days on my couch doing nothing but petting my cat, Bagheera, and watching old reruns ofStarsky and Hutch. When I got sick of feeling sorry for myself, I thought of Brock and apologizing to him. Fixing the wrongs. Soothing the pain I’d caused. And maybe even finding a way to reconnect with my son.

Some days, I could almost believe my own lies.

At night, when I couldn’t fight it any longer, I gave in to the fantasies. Touching him. Kissing him. Sliding into his body. After feeling nothing for so long, this felt like a gift. And in the morning, I hated myself all over again.

I had actively avoided the restaurant…until I couldn’t. My need to see him was too strong. And I was too weak.

So I returned to Shultie’s. Every day. For a month. Not that it did me any good. I didn’t see Brock. And I realized there were several possible reasons. He didn’t work every day. I could have easily gotten his schedule, but that seemed a step too far. A move past-Joshua would have made.

He could have come out of the kitchen, and I missed him. But his absence felt intentional. As if he knew I was here and was avoiding me.

Sometimes, I dragged Mitch along with me. We had things to discuss, and I enjoyed feeding Mitch. He loved good food but wouldn’t pay for it. He had the money. I made sure he was paid well. But Mitch couldn’t rationalize spending that much money on a meal. Not when there were kids out there hungry. It didn’t matter how much we did for the community. It was never enough.

Tonight, I’d come alone, not in the mood for company or Mitch’s sass. I’d already decided this was it. There was no reason to keep torturing myself. And if Brock didn’t want to see me, I needed to respect his decision.

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