Page 19 of 12 Gays of Christmas

“Colin, where’s Gil?”

All the dates still to go blend together on the chalkboard. I might be sick again. “He’s on a date, okay? With a guy from the swim team.”

“Oh my God. You are fu—messing this up. Do I need to come down there?”

I jump to my feet because I can’t sit anymore. “I don’t need dating advice from my sixteen-year-old sister. Gil and I aren’t together and never will be. Fucking get over it.”

My mom and sister yell, “Language,” and Remi knocks on the ceiling. I’m ready to tell him to shove the broom up his ass when a text message pops up from Gil.

“I have to go,” I say to my annoying family. “Gil is texting me.”

“Invite him to Christmas,” my mom says. “We’d love to see him.”

“Okay, Mom.”

My sister takes the phone from my mom and turns. “Tell him you want his dick,” she says in a low voice so my mom can’t hear.

“Goodbye, Nat.”

I mentally prepare myself and then check my messages. Another one has come in since I didn’t answer the first.

Annoying Roommate: Can I call you?

Annoying Roommate: Dude. Are you mad at me?

Colin: No and no. Can’t you text like a normal person?

Annoying Roommate: I have a problem.

When I don’t respond right away, I get another text.

Annoying Roommate: This guy is sweet. Funny. Pretty.

Oh my lord. I can’t deal with this right now. Not when I mentally and physically feel like crap.

Colin: That’s horrible. How will you survive?

I’m being pissy, but I can’t help it.

Annoying Roommate: What? No. That’s not the problem.

Despite my sour mood, I grin. It’s fun getting Gil riled up.

Colin: Are you going to tell me the problem, or do I have to guess?

Annoying Roommate: Kein’s vegan.

Not what I’m expecting.

Colin: And that’s a problem because…?

Annoying Roommate: I didn’t know and ordered half a cow…

He’s probably exaggerating. Probably. But I’ve seen him eat, so it could go either way.

Colin: Well, at least it’s something new for your list.

My phone rings. I debate letting it go to voicemail. A voicemail he knows I’ll never listen to. It stops, but a half second later, it rings again. I’m sure he could and would do this all night, so I answer. “What?”

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