Page 35 of 12 Gays of Christmas

He studies me like I’m one of his clients. Although I guess the living people are his clients. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Tonight, I’ll take you on a date. A picnic. Nothing too scary. Tomorrow, my friend…” He waits a second to see if I’m going to interrupt. I don’t. “My friend, Eduardo, is having an art show. I’ll take you.”

“Is Eduardo single?”

“Eduardo is straight.” But the way he says it sounds like he isn’t convinced. “But there’ll be lots of people there.”

“Gay guys?”

“Absolutely. I’ve been to enough of these to know the usual suspects who show up. I’ll introduce you, and you can either reach your goal or cross another guy off your list.”

“Why are you helping me?”

Instead of answering, he packs the boxes and throws away the packaging from the things we bought. He even turns off the Christmas music. Once everything looks perfect, he turns to me. “You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“Can you handle the answer?”

That stops me. Do I really want to know? I stand straighter and raise my chin. “I can handle it.”

He nods. “Because this,” he says, waving at the chalkboard, “is stressing Colin out. I don’t like to see him hurting. And if you repeat that, I will deny it. Then I’ll murder you, embalm you, and use your body as a teaching aid for the new guy we just hired. You need to decide what you want, Gil. Or you’re going to end up like me. In your own apartment. Alone.”

I don’t have time to figure out everything he’s said because the knob on the door turns, and someone tries to push it open. Thankfully, we locked it. Colin swears, and it’s cute. Then, the key scrapes in the lock. We quickly turn off the overhead lights so the room is lit up with Christmas lights.

Colin pushes the door open and stops. The quick gasp is loud in the room. And for that few seconds, I worry we’ve messed up. I’ve messed up. “Oh my God,” Colin says as he closes the door. “This is….” He swipes at his eyes.

“Surprise.” I sound lame, but I need to fill the silence. “Please don’t be mad.”

He laughs, and it sounds wet. “I’m not—this is amazing. Thank you.”

Remi turns on the lights, and I blink at the sudden intrusion. “If you’re just being nice, you can blame Gil. It was his idea. I was just the muscle.” His mouth turns up at the end. The smile slips out.

“Thank you both.” He hugs Remi first, and I can see the connection they have that I’ve tried so hard to ignore.

Then he pulls me into his arms, and I melt. I might have hugged him tighter than usual. He has been so stressed. Am I the reason? “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asks with a laugh.

“I don’t know.”

It’s a real laugh then. He stands on his toes, and I lean down as he kisses my cheek. “Everything’s fine. I’m just being stupid.”

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s my fault, so I’m sorry.”

Colin lets me go and carries his yoga bag to this room. When he returns, he examines the tree. “It’s beautiful.”

“We saved some ornaments for you to put on,” I say, sounding breathless. It’s getting difficult to breathe. Maybe we need to put out the candle.

“For fuck’s sake. I’m out.” Remi heads for the door and grabs the knob. He turns and catches my eye. I smile, trying to show my gratitude. He glances at Colin and back to me. “Be ready at seven, Gil. And dress warm.”

“Wait.” Colin’s eyes dart from Remi to me and back. “What’s going on at seven?”

“It’s nothing,” I say, waving my hand. But I can see the mischievous look in Remi’s eyes. Great.

He grins. “Gil and I have a date.”

As soon as Remi makes his announcement, Colin’s smile vanishes. Not the one on his face. That one is glued in place. But the one in his eyes that’s brightened the room more than the Christmas lights…that one disappears, and I want it back. All of it—his happiness. His affection pointed at me. But another traitorous part of me doesn’t mind returning the hurt. You didn’t tell me.Why did I hear it from Remi?

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