Page 42 of 12 Gays of Christmas

He nods, and I realize he looks terrible. His eyes are red, and his hair is standing straight up.

“What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head and starts toward his room. I put my hand on his arm. “Gil, what happened? Did he reject you?” I don’t understand how anyone could reject him.

“No. Opposite of that.”

That doesn’t make sense. “I don’t get it.”

“He kissed me. And it was okay.” He shrugs. “Then he wanted to go someplace quiet. Turns out he meant the restroom.”

“Oh. How…” My stomach drops, but I try to shake it off. This is about Gil. I shrug my shoulder like it’s no big deal. “How was it?”

“Awful. Turns out, I’m a freak.”

“What? Fuck him, Gil.”

“Exactly what he wanted. Me to f…do that.” His shoulders slump even more, and I want to hug him.

“But you didn’t want to?”

“I don’t know.” He rolls his eyes. “It sounds stupid. Maybe I’m just nervous.”

“Or maybe you don’t want that.” I clear my throat. “Would you rather bottom? Or not do any of that?”

He throws his arms wide. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to know all this?”

I stare at him. How is this man so clueless? “I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Porn, Gil. That’s what porn is for.”

His face flushes darker. “I’m going to bed.”

“Come here,” I say, taking his hand and pulling him next to me on the couch. Maybe he doesn’t know how to get started. At least, I can give him that. I pull up the browser and my favorite site before realizing Gil can see the videos I watch. I push past my embarrassment. This isn’t about me. “You can do a search. See?” I decide to just take a chance and put in jocks who like to bottom. When I scroll through videos, Gil makes a sound at one in particular. A locker room scene. His exhale of breath, which sounds needy as fuck, has me hard in an instant. God, I need to leave as soon as possible. “You like this one? I can leave…”

Gil covers my hand with his, and instead of taking the mouse from me, he pushes my finger down so the video plays. The beginning is cheesy and predictable, with a jock and a much smaller guy in the locker room. I start to get up, but Gil covers my leg with his big hand and squeezes. “Stay?” His voice is broken and needy, and I can’t resist.

I don’t move as the video plays. Gil stares straight ahead. I try not to react to the visuals in front of me or the heat of Gil beside me.

On the screen, the smaller guy tells the jock how dangerous it is watching the other guys change. “I’ve made this mistake. If the team catches you, it’s bad.” But the way he says bad has both the jock and Gil moaning. Jesus. My dick throbs painfully against the confines of my underwear and sweats. My breathing increases as I focus on not losing it.

“But now I’m the kicker and part of the team, so it’s okay if I look. If I touch. Helping a teammate out, giving them a hand if they need it, is expected.”

“Can you help me?” The jock’s words became background noise. Instead, I’m laser-focused on Gil’s ragged breaths. His moans. He adjusts and spreads his legs. I risk a peek at the outline of his dick against his jeans. His hands stray close like he wants to touch himself, but he’s nervous. On the screen, the kicker helps the jock out of his uniform. He pauses at the ties of his pants and looks up through his lashes. “I can help you with these if you want.”

“Yes. Please.”

Then, his fingers fly over the laces as he undoes them. Giving teasing strokes to the bulging outline of his cock. Then he covers the large erection with his smaller hand and squeezes. The jock moans, and so does Gil. “I’m a good kicker, but that’s not why I’m on the team.” He slowly pulls the guy’s pants and jockstrap down, staring at his dick like it’s his favorite dessert. “I’m good at taking care of my teammates. I give them what they want.”

Gil whines, and I shut my eyes tight before decidingfuck it. I’ll regret this tomorrow, but right now, I don’t care. I reach for the button on his jeans, but his hand grabs mine. “Colin,” Gil says, and it’s all there in my name. His want. Fear. Need.

“Let me help you,” I say, unsure how I manage any words.

He releases my hand, leans back, and spreads his legs wider. Surrendering to me. And it’s hotter than anything I’ve ever seen in porn. My fingers fumble with the fastener. My need to touch him makes it difficult to manage anything. Finally, it comes free, and we both sigh with relief as I ease the zipper down and release him from his underwear.

God, he’s beautiful. Thick and purple, his cockhead already dripping. I smear precum over the head and down his shaft. Gil’s eyes are closed as he clenches his hands by his sides and bites his lips. I imagine kissing him again. He is so sweet and vulnerable. “Gil. Watch me.”

His eyes pop open, looking at me for only a second before watching my hands stroking him. I want so much more, but I don’t want to scare him away. “So good,” he moans. “Don’t stop.”

No chance of that. I finally get to touch him. The sounds from the TV grab my attention. They’re in the shower, and the jock is leaning against the wall while the twink pounds into him. “Is that what you want, Gil? Someone to fuck you?”

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