Page 45 of 12 Gays of Christmas

Heat rushes to my face. I start to deny it and remember I’m not hiding anymore. “He cares about me, but it’s not the same as…” I can’t say those last words. I can barely think them.

“Colin is in love with you and has been for a while.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Do you know why I’ve been flirting with you for the last year?”

“You’ve been flirting with me?” I think back on all the smiles, comments, and looks.Oh.

Darcy shakes his head. “You’re clueless, but Colin isn’t. I’ve flirted with you because you’re cute and smart—although you like to hide it—and fun. And I wanted to push Colin to either tell you or let it go so us other poor souls could have a chance. It was fun making him jealous at first, but now I’m over it.”

“It’s not like that, Darcy. We’re friends.” But that brings up memories of last night. Do friends watch porn together? Do they get each other off? But then, this morning, he announced he was going home for Christmas and leaving me alone. That was a clear sign. Wasn’t it?

“Don’t make me regret calling you smart. Colin didn’t stay because he feels sorry for you. He wants to be with you.”

“Plans change. His bags are packed. If he cares so much about me, why is he leaving?”

“I’m not sure. If I had to guess, I’d say you haven’t given him a reason to stay.”

“What? I just tell him I want him to stay, and that’s going to do it?”

“You could admit you’re in love with him.”

I swallow my denial.Not hiding. “He’d never believe me.” And that’s the truth. I asked him to help me get laid. To find someone to lose my virginity to. And he helped me. Isn’t that proof enough that he doesn’t want me? Doesn’t care about me? But now I realize the opposite is true.

My phone buzzes with a text. Did Colin change his mind? But it’s Steph.

Steph: Don’t forget about the party tomorrow night!

Me: Can I bring someone?

Steph: Like a date? Sure.

Me: I might bring Colin.

When he doesn’t answer, my stomach drops. It doesn’t matter if my friends like Colin or not. If I have a chance with him, I’ll take it.

“Something wrong?” Darcy asks as he finishes his coffee.

I start to reply when my phone buzzes again.

Steph: Roxy says it’s about fucking time. Bring his weird friend too. The more, the merrier.

I grin at my phone and then at Darcy. “Want to go to a party?”

* * *

Colin isn’t aseasy to convince. In fact, he barely glances up as he continues wrapping Nat’s present. “I told you I’m going home.”

“One more day. That’s all I’m asking for.” When he finally looks at me, I give him my puppy-dog eyes and a hopeful smile. I get a glare in return.

“One more day? Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve Eve. And you want me to spend it with a bunch of football players?”

I rein in my urge to snap at him and instead keep my voice calm. “It’s Steph and Roxy’s party. Please don’t lump us all together.”

He continues wrapping, but it’s more aggressive than usual, and the corner of the box breaks through the paper. He tears it off to start again. “I’m not doing that.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, but it does no good. I can’t stop the words from pouring out. “I’m sorry that jerk wad hurt you, but they aren’t him. I’m not him, Colin. I would never hurt you.”

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