Page 46 of 12 Gays of Christmas

Some of the tension leaves his body as he carefully tucks the ends in around the box and tapes them. “Nat will be sad.”

My fingers tingle and I stretch them out as I bolster my courage. “Maybe I could…?” I hesitate. Is it rude to invite myself along? And what will I do if he says no?

“Could what?”

Time to go all in. “I could go with you. She loves me.”

“Everyone loves you.” He turns away so I can’t see his face. “But won’t you be with your new guy?”

“I have three days until Christmas. It’s a stupid plan.” I don’t mention the real reason. He’s the only guy I want.

“Mom and Dad would love for you to come,” he says with a noncommittal shrug. “They’ve been after me to invite you.”

I don’t have to ask him why he hasn’t. My stupid plan. “So it’s settled? Party tomorrow night and then your house for Christmas.”

“Gil,” he says with an adorable whine in his voice. “Do I have to go to the party?”

“A deal is a deal.” Could Darcy have been right about Colin being jealous? I’m not really into science. But it might be time to test this theory. “It’s not just jocks. Darcy will be there.”

His head whips up, and I can see the wounded look in his eyes. “Darcy?”

“Yeah, I had lunch with him today.”

He cleans up his mess with jerky movements and then puts Nat’s present under the tree with the rest. When he faces me, his arms are crossed over his chest and his jaw is tight. “That boy likes you. You should go for it. I’ll stay home and pack. I don’t want to be in the way.”

“You’re already packed.” Now that I’m looking for it, it’s all there. I can see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. Colin’s jealous. But he’s willing to step aside because he thinks this is what I want. “You are never in the way, Colin,” I say, catching his gaze and holding it. Then I grab the chalk and mark outCute Librarian. “I don’t care who else is there. I want you to be there with me.”

“Okay, fine,” he says, rolling his eyes, but a small smile lifts the corner of his mouth, showing his dimples. “But absolutely no tequila.”

DAY ELEVEN: SATURDAY, THE FOOTBALL TEAM, AND CHRISTMAS EVE EVE

DECEMBER 23

COLIN

Watchingporn with my roommate and jacking each other off was a bad idea. But I made it so much worse by avoiding him the next morning. I wasn’t sure how to face him. So I didn’t.

But had anything really changed? Gil had lunch with Darcy. And, honestly, they make sense. Gil and I don’t make sense.

So why am I torturing myself? Why am I remembering the sounds Gil made when I stroked him? The broken way he said my name like I’d wrecked him.

Gil wanting to bottom surprises me. And yet, not. Gil pretends to be the life of the party. Outgoing. But he isn’t like that. He’s fine with someone else being in charge.

Someone leading him. Telling him what to do.

Yup, there it is. Inconvenient hard-on.Stop fantasizing about fucking your roommate and this wouldn’t happen.

And this is why I can’t look Gil in the eyes. In two days, this will be over one way or another. Gil will either find his man or give up on his crazy idea.

As I sip my coffee, I stare at the board I used to love. Now, I want to chop it up and pile it in Remi’s apartment so he can deal with the mess. TheCute Librarianwith a line through it brings a smile to my face. Darcy will be at the party, but Gil wants me to know he isn’t interested in him. Then my smile drops.Football Team Kickeris next on the list. I only agreed to keep a jock on there because he’s also on the dean’s list. So he is someone specific. And he’ll be at the party.

If Gil is really interested in me, why hasn’t he erased the list?

“Good morning,” Gil says, walking into the kitchen while yawning and scratching his belly. His fingers run through the dark hair, and I can’t tear my eyes away. I want to touch him again. Kiss his stomach. Run my tongue along his happy trail and—fuck. I close my eyes, but the images are still there.

Keeping my eyes closed, I listen to Gil closing the cabinet as he grabs a cup and pours the coffee in. When I’m suitably deflated, I take a sip of my own sugary drink. Gil walks over to the chalkboard with his coffee and studies it.

“Two more days,” I say and mentally smack my head.Stop talking.

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